LughLongarm

Ok a little bit of background on me. I recently was tested using the WAIS III to determine my intelligence as part of my therapy for post traumatic stress disorder due to combat exposure in Iraq. I scored within the top .001 percentile and was told the test didnt go high enough to give an accurate gauge of my intelligence. I want to clarify I am not bragging at all. I never thought of myself as smart and always learned that my frustration with other people was my fault. I am not well educated either so while I have the intelligence it means nothing without the knowledge to use with it. My problem is in studying. I have decided that I want to make something of what I have been given other than wasting my life, but cant seem to get through any text books. . . . for example: "Centrioles behave as train conductors of the cell. They organize microtubles, which help move the parts of the cell during cell division." Ok easy enough to read but I read this and I think "how do they organize them? What is the process that physically does it? Its not like they have little hands to move stuff. . .? How do they know where to go? How do they know when to do it?" Every line I read in text books to learn new things just gives me 50 more questions!? Are these things I should already know? Am I supposed to just memorize the material and repeat it like a trained parrot without ever understanding the full scope of the subject? Should I maybe start with something simpler? The more I try to learn the more questions I have, the dumber I feel, and the more I would almost rather go back to playing video games, and working my not so important 9-5 job taking out the trash. . .