I've been reading what you guys say and you seem to know quite a bit about why the brain does what it does. That does make sense I dont remember things cuz I simply am not thinking about them enough(storing them). I am 19 years old and have blacked out well over 30 times. Of course I regret it every time. I normally get a bottle and share it with one friend. so I have about 10 shots and im drunk and laughing and I am the life of the party. . . I mean everyone is laughing and having fun. Then 6 hours later I wake up... and only have a sense of sadness and oh shit. It will normally start with me cussing out whoever im with, trying to hit any of my friends, saying the sickest things That I HAVE Seriously NEVER thought of sober. and just making everyone think im a pyscho. I will call up someone i havent seen in 2 years and cuss him out and say thought-out things. then the next minute people say i will cry and cry. my question: Since I never think of just about ANY of the things i say blacked out sober, why do they all come out blacked out?? (the thing i can think of is i just purposley think up evil things and say them... which anyone can do that.. but it has to be more.) thanks for any replies.