Para15

Joined to comment on this, like everyone else. I am a female masochist and am currently majoring in - guess what - psychology. (I think that I will make a good psychologist because I've actually have experienced many of the things that people go to psychologists for... concerns about sexuality being amongst them.) What I'm going to post is something I actually saved to Microsoft Word. As a masochist, I typed it to try and explain the unexplainable to people who don't understand... which is quite a few people on this thread. I am a sexual and physical masochist. I love it. I will never see a psychiatrist for it. I do not consider myself a ‘lesser person’ to anybody. I submit only to those who I know respect me as a person and recognize that I have dignity and self-esteem. I am healthy, I am one of the happiest people I know. I live life to the fullest. I have never been abused or neglected. I have a disorder called trichotillomania, which causes me to want to pull my hair out. It is not related to masochism. I hate trichotillomania. I love masochism. Being familiar with a disorder, you can imagine that I can probably tell what is ‘disorder’ and what is my own free will. Masochism is my choice. It is not a disorder. Is masochism a twisted, whacked out paradox? It certainly is. It’s f*cked up. Humans, by nature, are wired to avoid pain and seek pleasure. I like pleasure, too, but I certainly find pleasure in pain. In its more mild forms, like light whipping and scratching, pain (for me) is an exquisite and profound experience. It’s pleasurable, and it makes me feel alive. It’s not that it doesn’t hurt – of course it hurts. But for a reason that even I can’t quite grasp, I desire it. I like sensation in general, including pain. At its most intense, pain is no longer enjoyable physically, but the challenge of it is enjoyable mentally. Pain, the way my inner masochist looks at it, is a means to challenge oneself and one’s reactions to extreme situations. Being able to trust your partner with your body, being able to endure things that most people would never want to try to endure… it lets you find yourself – and your relationship, for that matter – on a very deep level. You get to know things about yourself in ways that most people can’t comprehend. You see, as far as that aspect of it, it’s not just about being tough or pain-tolerant. When you push yourself beyond your limits, it’s about discovering your own strength of character. It’s about being strong and resolute, for your partner and/or yourself. It’ll build your confidence in that mindset, so that you’ll be able to set your mind to being resolute and mentally sound not only in the context of BDSM, but in life. It’s a means to self-discovery, self-pride, strength in relationships, and a fuller life. And, if you don’t want to look into it that deep, look at it for what it is: enjoyment of something that few others can find enjoyment in. It’s one more way for us to find pleasure, one more way that 95 (or whatever) percent of the population doesn’t have. Live your life to the fullest. Don’t be afraid of your own desires; embrace them, otherwise you truly will never know what you missed. And don’t let your mind fall into the trap that you are any less of a person just because you are a masochist, or that you are sick. Don’t be ashamed. Don’t repress yourself. You have a right to your happiness and your life and your dignity as much as anyone else.