Hmm... you guys are pretty good at breaking down relationships help me explain mine??
Ok i met this friend through school one day by almost gettin in a fight with him, but we talked a bit and became really really close friends (always at each other's houses goin and partying and just chillin almost everyday) now he has this sister and for some crazy reason me and his sister sort of fell in love -- wasnt exactly the planned thing to do but she kept comin out to me while i was on the couch in the middle of the night and layin there with me and talkin to me and all kinds of other lil goodies... So we sorta had out thing secretly and we went through the ups and downs (got caught in her room by her dad) rumours by her jealous cousin got spread around about me doin stuff with her and and all this other mess got her brother a lil upset so he got mad at me one day and we stopped talkin for awhile then on my b-day after like 3-4 weeks of not talkin he came over we talked it out and are back to good friends again. But the weird part is his sister still talks to me now and we see each other and all kinds of stuff but i dont really understand how she feels or what to do.
Situation: She calls me and tells me to go to the ice skating rink (here in town for the holidays) so i go on up there to be with her and we skate a bit then go sit in this darkened off corner but she wont face me, so i dont know whats wrong with her but she keeps takin my arms and putting them around her. So we are just kinda there and shes having her fun and i'm tryin to figure out what the heck she is thinking... then i was like damn i need a hug it's been a long day and i'm stressed out and she wouldnt give me a hug.. now i didnt even bother to ask for a kiss cause it's been like 3months or so since we even did that so i gave up on that a long while ago. but her mom calls me up and ask me to take her home (i'm a friend of the family no harm can happen here) so we are going home and she tells me to pull over in an empty parkin lot.. so i just sorta looked at her like what are you talkin about (after her not even lookin at me all night) so i do and then she sorta does her thing and we really get into it. and i was in shock cause thats the first time we kissed on top of everything else we did in a long time, so i was kinda thinkin things are getting better and just shut the crazy ideas outta my head..
(i know this is getting long but we've been together for almost 12months now so i gotta make sure it all makes sense)
another weird thing that night was twice i told her i loved her but she never reply'd back to me either time like she usually does or she just says it to me, 1st time was on the benches and she said "i know" the 2nd was in the car and she didnt say anything.
Now yesterday rolls around and i sign online for a few min to check my mail she tells me she got in trouble at school. so i was like oh shit what happened.. and she said she was erasing her wrist and they started to bleed.. so i go off on atangent like what the hell did you do that for? and such and she gave me this whole thing about how she might commit suicide and all this stuff so i got mad, cause the only fear i have is loosing some1 i care about and i was about ready to just cut it off right there and tel lher goodbye, but i signed off for a bit and came back and she sent me some e-mail about how everything is ok and she was just sorta jokin and that nothing will happen..
She tells me she will call me later if she goes and does anything so i can meet her somewhere and hangout.. well i dont get no phone call and i'm getting bored.. (party time) so i head out.. take a quick stop at this gamin place and bam shes there with some friends of hers (all guys) so i'm like okay w/e and i walk in and act all cool about it and say hi and that it, i walk around abit and i start to get mad with her hangin about all these guys so i leave out the door.
well damn right as i get to my car she calls me and asks me if i'm mad i tell her yes i'm mad and i'm upset she didnt call me and tell me she was coming. so she comes out side and i tell her my whole story of bein upset about what she said about her wrist and all that crap and her being a girl somehow convinces me that everything is ok and i leave.
then i go call up my friend get completely trashed and realize i gotta get my lil brother, hmm no problem small town no cars out by now done this before (its stupid to drink and drive but when you have 4 lanes to urself nad ppl tell you that u drive fine like that u build up some confidence) so i get him and all and he goes home i go back out and stop by that gamin place again.. (ya know my mind is buggin me abotu her i go check up on her i guess) i come in and she's on the lil go cart things so i'm chilin with some other friends and dancin and enjoyin myself and she comes over and looks at me and drags me to the corner to tell me i've been smokin and drinkin... well duh!! so i told her yea and whatnot so she gets a bit mad and i dont care by now cause i'm PO'd at her anyways so i go back to dancin and i look over and see her all up on another guy with his hands all over her (now i'm really really close to them both about arms lenght and i was in good mind to take a swing and knock him off his shit, but i didnt cause i'm a gentleman about things) so i look at her and i walk away, again yet she runs up and asks me whats wrong i tell her how am i suppose to be okay with u all up on some guy with his arms around you?? she's like well me and him are just friend and i go point = ? and she's like we are just friends too ya know.. and i go so what was the other night then (referingto the car) and she goes.. well umm okay we are more then friends and i go yes and i get a lil jealous and upset when i turn around and see that and after i trust u to go places and not screw aroundwith other guys how am i suppose to know ur not going around doing whatever else too? and she tells me to just go have fun so i did and i was all with some friends of mine dancin and she comes over and starts dancin too, now she's jealous -- good lordy this is nuts -- so shit like that goes on and whatnot and the more i hang with other girls the more she coems over so i finally get tired of it and go downstairs, now i guess she gets done with her other guy up there cause about 10sec later she's downstairs too, now me and this guy are havin a guy to guy talk and we make her go away (about 3 times) so she finalyl goes and sits down somewheres.. so we finish our talk and i go talk to her cause she's po'd and she is like well what was that about and i said "we had a guy talk" she's liek well did my name come up. told her no, then asked why? and she said cuase all the guys are scaring her other guys away and i didnt understand this but i said ok yea? and she was like well i dunno and then the other guy i was talkin with came over and we stood there just chillin, then i was about to go and she come over to me and tells me she loves me and starts kissin on my neck and crap and i'm like what the hell are you doin get off me crazy, cause she is like hopping from guy to guy and i dont want this so finally she tells me she loves me and i leave....
Can anyone please make sense of all this madness? should i stay with her or should i just move on outta this? It's been about 1yr together now (on and off). When i'm with her i'm usually so happy and i think about her a lot and i love her too, but is it better to move on?