You need to focus on Mathematics. Place yourself (as awkward or weird one might be) in front of and in as many situations with the intended gender as possible. There are others like you out there...Even attractive ones of the same mindset. That could fall for you in the right situation...at the right time, and place. But she's not at home or hiding under your bed...So get out there. I met my wife at an art show and just happened to almost knock over one of her paintings. Starting a mumbling conversation...many years later here we are. Two opposites who collided around an art show...And let me tell you, I despise all form of art. Unless you have some kind of mental illness...Most people have the same insecurities...Or similar ones as you. Prey on your own weaknesses in others... control and push your weaknesses..
I dont know about an illusion...But I am still on board with the Matrix idea. ;-) Why can't we entertain the fact the we are just Super-intelligent -Super-sensitive Artificial Intelligence of some sort. You have to figure the advancements of each generation in technology have been astounding. Every Century, mankind has taken their base starting point of technology and grown on it exponentially. From your basic slack jawed caveman advancing from here starting point of squat...To building things and using tools. From us playing pong to now burning Dvds and running advanced machines. The advances are in leaps and bounds and continual. So in 300 years, won't we have created an Ai that can learn grow or feel on its own. Already we have computer software and life like video games and software where people can create virtual worlds. Won't we advance in no time and grow on that to having Superintelligent Ai in no time. So we will be creating this most likely for sure......So who is to say this hasnt been done by our ancestors or a intelligent "alien" life. And we are that by product.....And the Ai we create will go on to multiply and grow and create Ai of their own eventually and this will reapeat and repeat...Like it already has...like a tangled web of creations creating creations..and we are somewhere in the middle... But then again I am crazy.