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Everything posted by TheGeckomancer

  1. I did. Repeatedly. Because I figured if you thought there was something there there may be. I don't see it. Translation maybe? One that isn't just insults? Again. I am amazed that's acceptable. Actually. I am done. Respond if you want. I will read it, but I am done with this topic. Clearly this was a bad idea. If you aren't agreeing with people you offend them. There is no middle ground apparently. Everyone just assumes I am immature, and probably assume I have no life experience. This is something I have been dealing with for over a solid decade, I am nearly 30 now. I am not a kid. I have been taking care of myself since I was 17, with my whole family dead, still going to highschool while maintaining a fulltime job and my own place. Homeless from 5 to 7 year old kid because both my parents were druggies. I am not looking for pity but I get this STRONG feeling people assume I have had a sheltered life. I haven't. Not by any means. I have been attacked by gangs, shot at, stabbed twice, escaped burning buildings and more. My life could be made into a movie, if you cut out the long boring years in between some of these events.
  2. ....Are we reading entirely different posts? Ophiolite just nitpicked my word choices, and insulted me. No deep or meaningful comments, nothing about perspective. Nothing meaningful on any level. Just vacuous words. But I am going to avoid saying anything else about this topic. I am not trying to devolve the conversation further. I joined this forum because the people here are really intelligent and I value most of your opinions. Again, even if I don't see the world the same way you do.
  3. I am grateful for everyone's insight, except ophiolite. I have already learned this place just plays favorites. ALL OF YOU have more intelligent statements but ophiolite gets upvotes. That tells me what I need to know there. But anyway, You have to give me an option that works in my world view. You cannot convince me I am wrong because everything, every single thing in my life has confirmed that people are evil, the world is evil. For the longest time I thought I HAD to get away from that view to be happy. But saying I need to not view the world that way does not make it happen when every single thing I see just helps confirm it. Then I found Stoicism, and realized there are philosophies that allow functionality IN that view. So I have gotten to the point where I don't want to kill myself. But how do I get from just barely not wanting to kill myself to actually wanting to be alive? You all have just told me to do stuff. Okay cool. But I don't have any desire to, and no happiness from doing it, and no sense of accomplishments from completing things. I don't understand WHY to do anything. It does nothing. If you can't stay on topic please don't post.
  4. I feel like you are looking for reasons to disagree with me since my comment on the use of the word retarded? If you don't like me say so. Quoting out of context is rude. If you have some you want to say make it an open discussion instead of these snide remarks.
  5. So I am out of line because I don't couch my insults in nice words? That's honestly more insulting. His words should not be the slightest BIT more appropriate than mine. I just don't like dancing with people with words. If he wants to insult me he can just say it. Just as I can. Ban me if you want but ban him to or be a hypocrite. To put this in perspective. I posted a vulnerable thread, about a problem I am dealing with. And people have offered good information (but assume that a couple of words instantly change something which is wrong), and then been insulted for literally no reason. And that is acceptable but not my response. If that really is the tone of this forum I certainly don't belong here. Fairness and equality are things that resonate a LOT more strongly with me than civility. Unless it IS his place to insult me for hobbies and opinions? Because last I checked it's not anyone's place. What I said was strongly worded, but entirely accurate. And in fact, even if this conversation ends here, and you don't ban me, if he is not reprimanded for that comment it's the same as endorsing his right to judge and insult other people. I never said I was more intelligent than anyone. In fact I still don't know how to multiquote easily on this forum. I know a lot of people WAY more intelligent than myself. People who intimidate me. In fact I would say a lot of people on this forum are way smarter than me, especially at individual fields. Going further DevilSolution, I kind of scoped out a lot of your posts when I initially joined, you are someone I have very high respect for the intelligence of. And Phi For All, much as he seems to dislike me. I may be wired well for academics but that is not a sign of intelligence. If I were more intelligent than other people than finding how to be happy would be easier. People do it all the time. To me the highest sign of intelligence is knowing how to have the life you want. Which I don't. By my own standards I am very dumb. And at some point. I may end up at the same spot you are at mentally, maybe. But I almost certainly won't get there through the same path. I am not arguing with people by saying there view doesn't resonate with me. I am sorry I can't give the instant gratification of saying that 2 sentences I read online instantly changed my whole world view. I would bet the phrases I needed to hear have been said dozens of times, but until I am mentally there it won't click.
  6. Agreed. Which is why I asked if this falls under antisocial or extreme selective socialization lol. Mind you. I am not really interacting with real humans on here. No insult to anyone but you could all be bots and I would never know. I choose this group for the content and topics. Not for how human you are.
  7. Offering advice on how you view the world is not opinions that I can take and DO SOMETHING WITH. They are things you have to think about and incorporate. And they have to be consistent with who you are and the things you have learned. It's beyond idiotic to think I am insulting anyone by not immediately embracing a way of looking at the world that entirely different from my own. Stop and think for a damn minute. I am not posting what I do here to gain your acceptance. I don't care if you think my hobbies are awesome or completely inane. The fact that you think your opinion even matters on that topic is amazing. STFU and learn your place. I come here from a position of vulnerability and ask for advice, you use it as an opportunity to insult me because I don't share your world view. And I am the one that needs to learn....Seriously.... You don't understand anything if you think I can just take a sequence of words, plug them in and be a different person. It takes time and introspection and it has to resonate with your experiences.
  8. Being shy and antisocial are not the same thing although they can be connected. Antisocial is a kind of vague term IMO. Some people would classify me as antisocial, and I bounce back and forth on the issue. At what point is extreme selective socialization antisocial? I dislike most people, almost on sight, I usually give them a chance to talk and then regret it more. But even I still have some people I talk to and interact with voluntarily.
  9. The point of that post wasn't to go Oh look how great I am. Everyone keeps telling me on here my accomplishments suck. Not all of them. But it wasn't more meaningful. This is why i don't do a LOT of things. I have no real interest in comparing myself to other people. I do strive to be a better person than I was all the time. Hence why I am on here trying to fix the things I KNOW can be better..... The problem with meditation is which form? I used to do zen meditation, for hours, trying to focus on clearing my head. It's refreshing but nothing changes. I DO do daily meditation, where I spend a couple hours just thinking on myself, my life, and my choices. But that doesn't seem to be enough to get me to a happier point. First point. My job has TRIED to promote me 4 times. The site director came to me personally and asked why I haven't applied for any positions. I don't like how supervisors get treated where I work. The pay and benefits are nice but not for 80 hours a week salaried. It's not literally that but it's close. Second Point. Why in the hell would I lie about sometimes winning local magic tournaments? Is that a point of extreme pride? Did I blink somewhere and suddenly Magic The Gathering is in the same category as cross country running or multiple time muay thai champion? I frankly think I have bigger problems than being bored if my aspiration is to convince someone I have never met before that I play a game no one cares about and I am very slightly above mediocre at it. Third Point. Acknowledged. 4th. I don't really find things difficult. I know that is a crazy ego statement but I don't mind you it's not like I have picked a topic and mastered it yet, hence the point of this topic, general lack of interest and boredom. There are a TON of things I don't enjoy. Even those are usually not difficult for me. The only things that are challenging are physical things, such as long distance running, and I have health issues restricting me from doing certain types of exercises. Running being a big one. And before anyone says it. Don't think it hasn't occurred to me that my lack of interest my be some mechanism to prevent failure. Easier to not try than to fail. I get that. But that doesn't mean it has a simple solution. Am I supposed to just PICK something I CURRENTLY have no interest in and spend years of time trying to hone myself at it only to find that I either genuinely don't like the thing I have done that with or that I am still the same afterwards. I may not be a programmer, and I may not have high certifications. But my tech skills are very much beyond my certifications. I actively spent years as a hobby learning technology. It sort of interested me, but mainly I knew I had a knack for it and figured I might be able to easily be successful in that field. It's sort of worked. But now I am burnt out completely and I have only been doing it a few years. I don't even like owning a phone, which I intentionally got with no data service so people can't MMS or group message me. Also Ophiolite. This whole topic, has been a question with info about me. Your response was mostly just veiled insults. Is there a reason for this? Do you somehow feel threatened by me or this post? I don't get it.
  10. The problem I have with divinely inspired morals is the human condition overall. I see it breaking down to 2 basic possibilities. Humans are slightly more evolved monkeys, trying our best to not kill each other or masturbate in public. Or we are God's chosen caretakers of this tiny shrine of divinity and natural beauty. If it's the second one......Well.....I really hope God is like the dad who is too embarrassed to ask how we are doing when we visit for holidays.
  11. The problem is that Titan would be an industrial DREAM. Oceans of liquid methane for example. We would see crazy amounts of waste heat coming from Titan, that's for sure. And life so far hasn't developed narrowly but deeply. It goes broad, and then specializes. We would see life ALL over titan to give rise to intelligent life, plant life etc.
  12. I almost don't want to respond cause I kind of feel like I am picking on you. This is just about the most vague opinion I have seen. What is a socialization threshold? How is related to substance abuse? What is a High threshold vs a Low one?
  13. The popular theory is that blackholes bleed off their mass in the form of hawking radiation until they eventually evaporate.
  14. This reminds me of your "music is symmetry of noise" post.
  15. Shelagh, I don't have to read that article to tell you you are doing exactly what you don't think he is doing. Scientific evidence cannot be misleading if the tests and results are accurate and verified. Even if they ARE accurate and verified our conclusions of these results can still be wrong.
  16. And that is a part of the problem. I am not unproductive. I maintain a job, one for which I can be promoted almost anytime I want, but choose not to. I am a ranked magic the gathering player, I enter and sometimes win tournaments. A longtime goal of mine was earning my A+ Net+ certifications did that. Got recognized for a scholarship program was the top pick of several thousand candidates, and aced those classes. I get no sense of accomplishment or satisfaction from any of it. It's just stuff I do to not be doing nothing.
  17. You are correct. Except that one. Far as I have been able to, I cannot seem to assign meaning to things. I did not take a vow to not care about things. In fact, my life has been a struggle to find things to care about. I started off young with a lot of them. And lost them over time, until I didn't have any left. Gaining NEW ones is extremely difficult it seems.
  18. Because business is the opposite of boredom. But just saying that doesn't make life better, filling it with artificial busy work is not fulfilling or boredom stifling. The key is to find meaning, which is difficult when you don't care about anything. Like I said in my opening post. Even pain is preferable to boredom. But it's also not a simple choice of cutting myself to not be bored. I still control all the circumstances. Including if I were to just assign myself busy work.
  19. I actually do read a bit of philosophy. Won't call myself an expert of anything near it. But I fully understand and appreciate how valuable the great philosophical minds have been. I was actually hoping to be pointed in the direction of other philosophers, I have already read some Albert Camus and a TINY bit of poincare. But I will check out Bertrand Russell and Henri Poincare.
  20. I adjusted my comments to fit the mood of the board. I have no issues with any language, there are no terms that offend me. I apologize if anyone was offended.
  21. You guys are reading WAY too much into this question. Here is a simple answer to a simple question. Medical Science doesn't distinguish between natural and artificial, it doesn't care. If something is effective, modern medicine adapts it. If it's not, it doesn't get brought in. The story that medicine "avoids" cures is dumb, cures are difficult, and they are achieved through an insane amount of hard work and research. Not some crystals and fake magic radiation exposure.
  22. As sources were not cited, I have a hard time believing this. Maybe one or 2 kids were stupid enough to do this on a dare, MAYBE, but everyone else will be smart enough to learn from that. More than likely, this story is inflated beyond all reason. And it was some kids setting there coat sleeve on fire, I did it all the time as a wannabe pyro kid who thought he was cool.
  23. Brazil is also one of the few places with blatantly more corrupt and violent cops. We do not look up to their law enforcement, no one should. In fact you just named one of the worst countries in the world for that thing. It's funny, I didn't do hard fact checking, just some basic google searches, but it seems there have been more police murders than mass shootings in the united states, and more people killed by cops than killed in shootings not involved with cops. At that point I am seriously wondering why cops are allowed to have guns but we are having a problem with american citizens having them when they are WAY safer? Seriously, if we took ALL the Americans who HAVE guns are not using them violently, and compared that to the cop population and what percentage of them are executing american citizens..... I feel safer with disarmed cops and armed citizens.
  24. Self awareness is a thing that happens in stages. When I was a newborn I was not self aware, when I was a small child I was marginally self aware, etc. I find that even now, as I get older, I achieve new levels of self awareness. I think up until a high level is achieved, it's no different from running off of instinct. For self awareness to be beneficial for survival you have to be to the point where you can resist short term gains for long term, such as smoking the meat of the animal instead of just eating as much as you can now. Self awareness is an adaptation, but not one that exists for it's own benefit IMO. Meaning, the lesser stages of self awareness do not really benefit for survival purposes, but they are more a side effect of a complex neural network capable of processing more information.
  25. There are a bunch of reasons why time travel is not realistic. And a few wonky ways it MAY be possible, such as gravitational shenanigans involving orbiting blackholes. But we have a lot of evidence suggesting it's not possible. Or if it is, that the universe STRONGLY frowns on it, or creates separate time lines for different instances of time travel. See Stephen Hawkings Time Traveler Party.
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