How the universe works.

This is a brief rundown of how the universe works for all you who do not know.

We are in an immense grid of tiny particles called photons. The one in charge is called photon. Basically photon is the worst scumbag imaginable really. It's scumminess is so bad that it splits itself into two human forms which are called just photon two and photon three. What these three do to get by is instigate a loud ringing noise onto me which is on all the time and voice to skull messages which cannot be turned off once every, on average, 4 seconds when things are quiet. The voice to skull messages are often completely trash, tortuous short messages which often come from a replicated version of a childhood nemesis of mine, it being my nemesis also was planned by photon, as most things are.

So there, this is what needs to be done apparently to keep the universe open and in business. I'd be glad to answer any questions you may have.