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Suicide: Is it normal?


Alex_Krycek
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And you seem equally determined to avoid personal responsibility for your problems.

 

 

That sounds like the response from somebody in the "pull yourself together" camp who has no concept of clinical depression. If you can show no understanding, then perhaps a little compassion would be a kinder reaction.

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That sounds like the response from somebody in the "pull yourself together" camp who has no concept of clinical depression.

 

 

Quite the contrary I suffered depression for many years, but we still have choices about what we do about it; I chose to self medicate, that didn't work. There's other more productive choices we can make, talk to friends and family (talking really does help) or go to a doctor; a more pernicious choice we often make is who we choose to blame for it, because if we blame others then we tend to expect someone to sort it for us, if we correctly choose to blame ourselves then we can start down the road to recovery by forgiving ourselves.

 

 

If you can show no understanding, then perhaps a little compassion would be a kinder reaction.

 

 

 

I've tried that approach which was rejected in favour of self pity, so I'm trying something different.

Personal responsibility? Do you think people choose to be like this?

 

 

I didn't, but it was still my problem.

 

 

And you seem equally determined to avoid personal responsibility for your problems.

 

 

Being kind isn't always a kindness.

Edited by dimreepr
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Quite the contrary I suffered depression for many years, but we still have choices about what we do about it; I chose to self medicate, that didn't work. There's other more productive choices we can make, talk to friends and family (talking really does help) or go to a doctor, a more pernicious choice we often make is who we choose to blame for it, because if we blame others then we tend expect someone to sort it for us, if we correctly choose to blame ourselves then we can start down the road to recovery by forgiving ourselves

Depression is always caused by something. The cause imo decides if and how depression is treatable. In the case of seriously disabled, it seems that financial, health and legal problems feed his depression. I can imagine it seems impossible for him to find help. Don't you have people who care for you and want to help?

I have a neurodegenerative disease and would have killed myself if it wasn't for my family. I do understand what it's like to see no solutions for your misery.

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Depression is always caused by something. The cause imo decides if and how depression is treatable. In the case of seriously disabled, it seems that financial, health and legal problems feed his depression. I can imagine it seems impossible for him to find help. Don't you have people who care for you and want to help?

I have a neurodegenerative disease and would have killed myself if it wasn't for my family.

 

 

In my case family was part of the problem, an indifferent mother and an absent father, in my youth I was shipped from grany to aunty to uncle to mum and back many times; I employed the exhaust and hose pipe method and when I woke up in hospital with a friend by my side, I was strangely elated.

 

I do understand what it's like to see no solutions for your misery.

 

 

 

In which case you either accept it and find a kind of peace or rail against it and torture yourself.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locus_of_control

http://psycnet.apa.o...=1988-35828-001

http://psycnet.apa.o.../1996-03051-015

"These suggest that more depressed people have less sense of control." - Prometheus (SFN forum member).

Edited by dimreepr
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Life is completely pointless and meaningless in my opinion.

 

Also this planet and humanity is insignificant and there is no God or purpose or any meaning to life at all, except to constantly suffer and being bullied and abused.

 

At least this is the way I see it.

 

Being dead is superior to being alive in every way because after you are dead there is no more pain and no more suffering, no more crying and no more bullying.

 

Personally I think I should never have been born (I think I should have been aborted) because all my life has been constant pain, suffering and abuse with no single moment of happiness.

 

I am going to jail in a couple of months and there I will spend 20 years of my life or even more. And when I will be released from prison I will be homeless and destitute with nowhere to go except living and starving on the streets.

 

So what's the point of trying to survive at all if I am going to rot more than 20 years of my life in prison or be homeless and destitute for the rest of my life.

Edited by seriously disabled
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So what's the point of trying to survive at all if I am going to rot more than 20 years of my life in prison or be homeless and destitute for the rest of my life.

Is it possible that you can get yourself together in prison?
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I realise I sound heartless but, I feel intuitively, this person is suffering from what I call "the princess syndrome" given the progressive escalation of why he should feel sorry for himself; I have several personal relations with people who are so determined to be miserable (to make a point) that any and all attempts to reconcile their feelings is rejected out of hand (to reinforce their point) like a child that wants the parent to suffer for their disappointment; make that child crack a smile and all is forgotten.

 

I admit this type of proxy attempt (if I'm right) maybe through a fundamental family breakdown and should be pitied and maybe a deep psychological issue, so if we can't inspire a smile, or understanding, to break the logjam, maybe shock or an intervention will work; I can only hope.

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I realise I sound heartless but, I feel intuitively, this person is suffering from what I call "the princess syndrome" given the progressive escalation of why he should feel sorry for himself; I have several personal relations with people who are so determined to be miserable (to make a point) that any and all attempts to reconcile their feelings is rejected out of hand (to reinforce their point) like a child that wants the parent to suffer for their disappointment; make that child crack a smile and all is forgotten.

 

I admit this type of proxy attempt (if I'm right) maybe through a fundamental family breakdown and should be pitied and maybe a deep psychological issue, so if we can't inspire a smile, or understanding, to break the logjam, maybe shock or an intervention will work; I can only hope.

I couldn't agree more. Now put what you wrote above (especially the part about a child cracking a smile) into retrospective against our encounter in this thread a few days ago and you will end up with my, and incidently your way of thinking. Edited by koti
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I couldn't agree more. Now put what you wrote above (especially the part about a child cracking a smile) into retrospective against our encounter in this thread a few days ago and you will end up with my, and incidently your way of thinking.

 

 

In which case I apologies, but let's not forget that it's not always humour that inspires such a smile.

Why are you going to jail?

 

 

I don't think he is, in England anyone facing a 20 stretch would be on remand, in America his bond would be quite substantial.

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Really? In my experience, they are offered help. Maybe it is different where you live.

Not always.. I've known a friend who's parents response to a deep state of their child's depression was rash and extreme. Grow up and stop being a baby, is not a proper response, let alone threatening them if they tell anyone else. At least he had the sense to try and ask someone else for help, or I'm sure she would be dead at this point.

 

Either way, fear of social impacts can also deter someone from trying to get help. If someone is known to consider suicide, there's often a rash difference in how their treated. And then there's those who threaten suicide as a means of getting what they want -_-

 

It's alot more complicated then "They are offered help" although that would be the ideal circumstance.

I used different pronouns, I know. It's on purpose.

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I don't think he is, in England anyone facing a 20 stretch would be on remand, in America his bond would be quite substantial.

The reason I say this is because it sounds pretty sinister. Is he thinking about committing a crime? What are we to make of a statament like that?
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I realise I sound heartless but, I feel intuitively, this person is suffering from what I call "the princess syndrome" given the progressive escalation of why he should feel sorry for himself; I have several personal relations with people who are so determined to be miserable (to make a point) that any and all attempts to reconcile their feelings is rejected out of hand (to reinforce their point) like a child that wants the parent to suffer for their disappointment; make that child crack a smile and all is forgotten.

 

I admit this type of proxy attempt (if I'm right) maybe through a fundamental family breakdown and should be pitied and maybe a deep psychological issue, so if we can't inspire a smile, or understanding, to break the logjam, maybe shock or an intervention will work; I can only hope.

Self pity leads to a rapid regression in social life and meaning, as well as a even faster immersion into depression. A response to "I'm fat and ugly" would have to be the right portions of Harshness and understanding.

"Your just being a cry baby" Is too harsh.

"No you aren't, your beautiful" Too soft. While this might be true in some cases, it often leads to said depressed person saying things like that more often because he/she expects a compliment, or an uplifting statement.

"No you aren't, and you know that." Is a much better suited response to something like that. It's trying to build self confidence rather then tearing them down, or building them up. Think of it like, give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for the 6/12 months the lake isn't frozen.

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Self pity leads to a rapid regression in social life and meaning, as well as a even faster immersion into depression. A response to "I'm fat and ugly" would have to be the right portions of Harshness and understanding.

"Your just being a cry baby" Is too harsh.

"No you aren't, your beautiful" Too soft. While this might be true in some cases, it often leads to said depressed person saying things like that more often because he/she expects a compliment, or an uplifting statement.

"No you aren't, and you know that." Is a much better suited response to something like that. It's trying to build self confidence rather then tearing them down, or building them up. Think of it like, give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for the 6/12 months the lake isn't frozen.

 

 

Maybe you should read page two...

The reason I say this is because it sounds pretty sinister. Is he thinking about committing a crime? What are we to make of a statament like that?

 

 

He says he's about to be sentenced, which would imply the crime has been committed.

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I did, but I don't get what your getting at.

 

 

Remember no one can predict the future, however certain it may seem; if your problem has a solution then solve it and stop worrying, if your problem doesn't have a solution then you can't solve it, so stop worrying and accept it; either way you're not being tortured by anyone other than yourself.

we still have choices about what we do about it; I chose to self medicate, that didn't work. There's other more productive choices we can make, talk to friends and family (talking really does help) or go to a doctor; a more pernicious choice we often make is who we choose to blame for it, because if we blame others then we tend to expect someone to sort it for us, if we correctly choose to blame ourselves then we can start down the road to recovery by forgiving ourselves.

 

 

 

Teaching a man to fish seems like the wrong analogy, teaching a man to accept that hunger sometimes happens however hard we try, seems more appropriate.

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Well, seriously disabled, if you are really about to embark upon two decades of incarceration, you definitely have my sympathies and best wishes. I hope this is not the case.

 

You know, every single thing you have written here sounds remarkably, eerily like myself. I could have written just about every single thing you said here. My problems align with yours so well that its almost scary. What is more remarkable is how my thoughts of these issues align with your own.

 

I have the exact same problems with people and with women. I always feel like I couldn't buy the friendship, love, respect, or admiration of another person. It seems like there is something inherently wrong with me that I cannot figure out, that I'm personally blind to, and cannot put my finger on, but I sense that it is there. People seem to treat me differently, to largely undermine me, dismiss me, ignore me, and ultimately write me off. People seem disinterested in forming friendships or relationships with me, or even having simple conversations with me. Yet everyone else in the world seems to form strong bonds and relationships with ease.

 

I try to evaluate myself every day to determine why it is that people display this disposition towards me. More often than not I cannot fathom what it is I could possibly be doing wrong. I don't go into situations bent on proving anything or doing anything other than conversing and having a good time. I seem to be just as much at a loss for explanations and solutions as you are.

 

I know what its like not to have anyone to vent to. So vent here all you want. Tell us exactly what is causing you pain, and use whatever means you have to to describe what you are going through. I'm not saying I/we can help you, but at least you can use this thread as a release.

Edited by Tampitump
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