Are we unessiserly embarrassed because of societal unsaid rules/constructs?

[Lyudmilascience]

sorry don't know how to spell unnesiserly. im not sure if this should be under philosophy. Are people unnesiserly embarrassed over things they shouldn't be embarrassed about? has the scocierrty made people be embarrassed about things that there is no reason to be embarrassed about? I coundnt find any studies on this exact question but i did find some studies on embarrassment. " Results are consistent with the compliance model that embarrassed individuals seek the positive experience of helping someone in order to relieve the discomfort of their embarrassment." http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/32/1/145/ I wanted to figure out why are we embarrassed? how is embarrassment useful to modern day people? this study talks about how embarassemnt is used to help people want to help others. and this study " These studies indicate that embarrassment serves an appeasement function, reconciling social relations when they have gone awry. We then speculate about how embarrassment is elaborated into more complex social interactions, such as teasing and flirtation." shows that embarrassment is good to repair human interactions. but what about being embarrassed about your sexuality? that is not something as a result of bad human interactions, its something one is embarrassed about even if no one knows yet. maybey I should look for a study that examines how cultures are embarrassed about different things and some of those things all cultures have in common like embarrassment about sexuality. http://cdp.sagepub.com/content/9/6/187.short

[fiveworlds]

If you knew you didn't know how to spell unnecessarily couldn't you have googled it??

[Sirona]

If you knew you didn't know how to spell unnecessarily couldn't you have googled it??

Spell checker is also convenient, free to use and shows consideration to others...

 

I'm not exactly certain on how to phrase my response because the discussion is not very specific but I'll attempt it based on my understanding. So, I believe embarrassment is not a 'stand alone' for better lack of a term emotion and it's something that stems from other emotions such as guilt, shame and pride. To feel 'embarrassment' I think you've first got to be aware of you then yourself relative to others and how they perceive you. So, the emotion 'embarrassment' is a response to your failure to act or speak in a way which is deemed socially acceptable. What follows the awareness that you have defied social norms is a self-conscious emotion; you become concerned how others will judge you and what impact your behaviour/action had in shaping others perception of you. We all desire to 'fit in' and want others to hold us in high-esteem and think positively about us. Behavior and actions which cause embarrassment I believe therefore are accidental since we do desire to fit in.

 

What is embarrassing depends a lot on situation, circumstance and company I think. For example, you would feel more self-conscious tripping and dropping your coffee in front of your employer at work than you would in front of your sibling because you're aware that your employers perception and judgement of you is going to be more volatile than that of your brother/sister. It doesn't always been to be associated with negative experiences either, such as tripping, falling, spilling/dropping for example. Perhaps you've got a date and you've gone to a great deal of effort to make a feast but you also want it to appear understated because you don't want to appear too willing to please early on; your date noticing the effort might make you feel embarrassed. Or you gave your boss a very thoughtful and personal or expensive gift when everyone else just signed a card; this might make you feel embarrassed in front of your employer and colleagues.

 

I think to a certain degree it's a good thing that we have social norms to control the behaviours of those who would otherwise behave in a way that might have damaging consequences to others. Some people, if not deterred by the fear of being ostracised will not act in an acceptable way.