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The Official JOKES SECTION :)


YT2095

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He might be a chef in a chili restaurant, rather than a chemist.

 

That happened to a friend of mine, except he was chopping chilis for his party, then stepped into the shower for a quick rinse and started washing his favorite parts before he washed his hands. :eek:

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I think he might be a chemist also :)

 

Apologies for a serious remark in the jokes thread, but I would just like to state that chefs are indeed chemists, and cooking is a form of (organic) chemistry.

 

To compensate for being so serious, here's a lolcat:

phyics-lolcat.jpg

 

Have a good weekend!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I can't prove it's photoshop but:

How much would a gator that size weigh?

How much force would it take to produce a visible distortion of the mesh of the fence?

 

 

I would judge that gator as about 5 to 6 feet long, 100 to 150 pounds...

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SCHOLARLY ACT

 

A Scholar was going his way home. He unknowingly stepped on a babana peel, fell down and bruised his nose very badly.

 

Somehow, he got up and started moving forwards. After walking for sometime, he saw another banana peel lying in his way.

 

He stopped and started thinking about the second banana peel. After much deliberations in his mind, he said to himself,

 

'Oh my god! I will have to slip over this one also.'

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Possibly less dumb than whoever is taking the picture. There's no fence between the photographer and those teeth.

However, I suspect photoshop.

 

 

Also alligators are harmless unless you let get them a lot closer than this photographer was...

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When the ladies have finished laughing, they may wish to consider this

"The first modern brassiere was patented by the German Christine Hardt in 1889"

 

 

Also, re. Moontanman's comment that

"Also alligators are harmless unless you let get them a lot closer than this photographer was.."

Alligators are also potentially harmful if they get closer to you: they have legs.

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Rep. Lucas, a 20-year veteran of Congress, responded:

Many things have been said about me, said to me in the course of all my campaigns. This is the first time I’ve ever been accused of being a body double or a robot.

 

 

 

He did not have to wait long. The very first question was: "Mr. First Minister, are you a robot?"

 

Demerzel simply stared calmly and let the tension build. Then he smiled, his body shook slightly, and he laughed. It was not a loud uproarious laugh, but it was a rich one, the laugh of someone enjoying a moment of fantasy. It was infectious. The audience tittered and then laughed along with him.

 

Demerzel waited for the laughter to die down and then, eyes twinkling, said, "Must I really answer that? Is it necessary to do so?" He was still smiling as the screen darkened.

 

 

http://www.ebook2u.org/sf/Isaac24/27771.html

 

At least we know it is a fan of Asimov.

Edited by Endy0816
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