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Relationship Help


w0rld

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Can you help a high scholler out? Okay, here's the deal: I like this girl. She's a senior, and I'm a freshman. I don't know if she likes me back. I don't really know if she has a boyfriend or not. Her facebook says no, but I figure she does. I don't know wether to tell her how I feel or not. I'm always in perpetual fear of being rejected. I figured I'd ask fellow nerds, because most think the way I do. Please help.

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Telling her how you feel tends to accomplish nothing, IMO... Well, it might scare her away and she might wonder why you like her so much when you barely know anything about her. Instead of telling her about your feelings (which is a bit selfish and doesn't tend to do much in terms of forming a relationship), I recommend that you just try to be friends with her and learn about one another... See if you share any interests, and with patience see where it goes from there. Be curious about what she likes. Ask questions calmly and show interest, that sort of thing.

 

And, btw... You WILL be rejected. Sack up and get over it. It's part of life. Sucks, but that's just the way it goes. The more you practice, the easier it gets.

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Oh yeah, we share a lot of intrests. She's a fellow nerd. One of the few female ones around where I live. Also, she might know I like her. And about the spending time alone together (Phi for All) isn't that why Facebook messenger was invented? I would do quotes, but it's hard to do that stuff from my tablet.

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As iNow said, telling her how you feel isn't always the best way to approach women. You can still be honest and tell her what you like about her. Don't lay it on too thick, pick one thing and tell her about it. "I really like talking to you, since most people forget to use their brain a lot." Although if she smiles at that, you could probably add, "OK, I like your smile, too, but that's it."

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My advice:

Just ask her out. There's a tactic that I like, that is usually successful, where you kind of tell the woman (not ask) that she is going to accompany you somewhere. And that she'll love it. But you have to get the right tone, otherwise you'll just come across as an arrogant jerk. Or unfunny. Both of those are bad.

 

My perspective:

If she's a nerd, and a senior, she is most likely headed towards college. Almost all high school relationships do not survive the transition to college. I would be exceedingly wary about this if I were you. Uni changes people.

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I'm always in perpetual fear of being rejected.

 

Being rejected is just part of life, and not just in relation to women. One has to try to get over this, otherwise you will not try to do anything.

 

I would say go for it, but take care and understand that she may feel rather awkward once she has rejected you, assuming that she does*. I recall girls in my high school could be rather insensitive with rejecting guys and even their friends would take the opportunity to "shoot you down".

 

* of course she may not, but unless you say something how will you know?

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That's why I said it might be considered selfish. If you tell her how you feel, but she only thinks of you as a friend, then it's awkward and she may feel sad that the friendship gets lost in the process.

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Yeah, you should probably get back to work.

 

If by "work," you mean "trying to quell the flow of women fighting to give me their numbers and prioritize them in order of hotness," yes. You're right. I should get back to work.

Edited by A Tripolation
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If by "work," you mean "trying to quell the flow of women fighting to give me their numbers and prioritize them in order of hotness," yes. You're right. I should get back to work.

 

 

Aww, you try so hard. That was a valiant effort; would you like a cookie?

 

One day, you'll learn how to troll properly.

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Or even better, tell her you like something she likes about her. I'm a cynic.

Most things you like about people are probably things they like about themselves already, but yeah, you understand the whole purpose behind this type of compliment. It's honest and ego-stroking at the same time.

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You cut off my smiley when you quoted me. :( It wasn't meant to be antagonistic.

 

You said you hate everybody, it seemed funny you were giving relationship advice. I understand you hate me too, but don't think I was trying to make you resent me.

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