How about this?

[TimeContinuum]

Matter-electro-magnetic-gravitational-light force = 1 thing

 

the general 3 dimensional direction of buddy. But the thing is, buddy travels everywhere in the universe once per moment. So his spin is influenced most heavily by other buddies who are doing a 3d spin moderately similar to him. If he's spinning perty slow, he becomes matter and his influence is stronger on people closer by (gravity). If he get's spinning up a little too fast, he becomes a wave! It can be light, electric, magnetic, or even fusion! Anyways, now buddy is flying around again, when what do we see? A star, he attracts us for awhile, then we get going so fast, and we get so close, that our forces are repelling each other so much that I just bounce right off (diamagnetism), so now I'm a cool little gamma ray - OOO AAA! Ran into a buddy, ran into another buddy, losing energy! Ionizing....... SMACK BAM we knock another buddy off of his atom and screw up his day! All those buddies looking at me sure are slowing me down (magnetic shield), annnnnnnddddd I'm radiant heat on pluto, how lonely. I'm going back to the sun, F-U guys! So buddy goes for another bounce aannnnnnDDDD this time he's a slower gamma ray, cuz his bounce wasn't an acceleration all the way from alpha centauri this time! NNNNNOOOWWWWWWWWWWWVVVVVVRRROOOOMMMMMMMMMMM Hey that's a cool green and blue planet you got there, I'm kinda like going at xray speed tho, I need a buddy to catch me! Annnnnnd LET'S MARRY AND BECOME DEUTERIUM!? Sure bra. Oh shit son - u're a dude. Well, let's find some chicks, I needa see an OO face. OOOOO OOO OO.

 

K so anyways, buddies float out of the ocean, and marry a couple Oxygens.

 

THE END

 

or is it?

 

Should also mention, time is explained by how Monsieur Star attracts Mr. Buddy

[Tres Juicy]

no

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Physics_doesn't_exist,_it's_all_about_Gnomes

Edited January 19, 2012 by Tres Juicy