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What's the worst movie you've seen?


JohnB
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I don't mean just bad, I mean so bad that it almost approaches genius from the other side.

 

The obvious candidate is the classic "Plan 9 from Outer Space".

 

However I just got through watching "Horror of the Blood Monsters" and this makes Ed Wood look like Cecil B De Milne. With rediculous fake vampire fangs at the start which don't seem to have anything to do with the rest of the movie, cardboard sets, poor scripting and a futuristic sex scene that I'm still trying to work out why it's in the movie at all, this is a complete clusterf*ck. The piece of fishing line from the nose of the spaceship was just a bonus. :D

 

A great WTF? moment when the spacemen realise that they are on a primitive planet (courtesy of clips from old black and white movies) with dinosaurs and cave men. So they tell the unarmed female crewmember "You stay here" while they head off to investigate, taking all the weapons with them and leaving her alone.

 

Even Japanese King Kong and Godzilla movies leave it for dead. So of course I enjoyed the movie immensely. :D

 

That's my worst ever, what's yours? And why?

Edited by JohnB
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The movie was called "Julie and Jack", and I randomly selected it from the (legal) movie downloader program that I subscribed to at the time, knowing nothing about the film.

 

I'm fairly certain that the version I saw was pirated. At least I hope so. The alternative is that this was the lowest budget movie of all time, shot on a cell phone's camera: image was grainy and slightly wobbly, lighting was terrible, color was flat, and sound quality equally bad, echo-ing throughout the entire thing. The storyline and dialogue were gleefully thin and based on stereotypes of people, as if the writer had just heard about humans, and had never experienced them directly. Run-of-the-mill, cheesy flicks can't hold a candle to this puppy. Frequently, I found myself saying "OH MY GOD" out loud in disbelief to both dialogue and goings-on. Halfway through, I was forced to pause the movie and go the store where I picked up, among other things, a bottle of wine, just so I could complete the stupid thing. A glass of wine, a phone call, and a meal down, I was fortified to finish the film and pushed play. The impending "plot twist" was predictable fairly early on, and the movie was so horribly painful to watch that I didn't feel for the lack of continuity. I'd never imagined a movie that terrible before, even having seen Plan 9....*and* Twilight. It was such a smarmy movie; everything in it absolutely REEKED of the writer perceiving himself to be clever.

 

If you have a hankering to be stunned by the lack of creativity and human insight in the average Joe, this movie is for you. Here's what IMDb has to say about it:

 

 

Storyline

Jack Livingston is looking for true love. He is a successful computer chip salesman for STELLAchip Corporation in high-tech Silicon Valley. With a suggestion from his best friend, Mark Stevens, he reluctantly subscribes to an Internet dating service, CupidMatchmaker.net where he meets Julie Romanov, a beautiful genius computer software developer. Jack falls madly in love with Julie. Julie and Jack begin an intense and passionate affair. With Julie, Jack has found his soulmate. And love is forever. But this seemingly perfect love is more than he had visioned. And so Jack's love for Julie is put to the ultimate test! Written by james@goldengateent.com

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0358551/

 

 

 

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