Imaginary Friends and Social Acceptance

[BURN 10]

So, I'm late in high school and have somewhat known this girl for about four years (we'll call her Mona). She is excellent at art, but has a sort of fixation with fictional character she has created. She will often refer to them in conversation as if they were real people and talks about them obsessively.

 

She seems to have had been a social misfit all her life. Last year in a Geometry course, I sat two seats behind her... between us sat three girls who have always been regarded as popular and pretty. One day I caught them having a conversation amongst themselves, and were suprisingly accepting towards her involvement in the talking. During the conversation Mona expressed HER own surprise by their acceptance by saying something like "I'm so happy your being so nice to me." and recalled to them a time in elementry school when they would tease her and tell her she could not be their friend. Of course, the three girls stared at her wide eyed and silent, put-off by her bluntness.

 

My question is, could being rejected throughout life be the cause of her delusions?

 

 

You can see why I get lousey mathematic grades... this is what I spend my time thinking about at school.

[Mag 12]

She is excellent at art, but has a sort of fixation with fictional character she has created. She will often refer to them in conversation as if they were real people and talks about them obsessively.

 

 

You can see why I get lousey mathematic grades... this is what I spend my time thinking about at school.

 

Hmm, I think we could do better with more specifics... how she uses it, and manages to put it into conversation.

 

Dont worry, in Psychology you dont really need geometry

[pioneer 65]

Most small children will make up imaginary play characters. Give them a toy and as they play, they make up a little dramas. Some boys might become a truck instead of a person. This is completely natural. Culture tries to shut off this imaginary play at a certain age. Shutting it off makes for a better herd animal. In the imaginary play world, the child is generating their own little play reality. The herd requirement is one reality for everyone, so the entire herd is in the same pen. It doesn't like free range cattle. It will even train the other children to be police. If you catch anyone you punish them so they get into the pen with everyone else.

 

Once you get into college, especially if you live in dorms or some fraternities, this becomes common again. It is done in fun or stress release and allows the active imagination to come up with different ways to get into stuff. I had a friend who had a playful character he called Phenius J. Knurd, he was hilarious. I also knew someone who called himself the Birdman who would fly in your room with gobs of vaseline and goop you or your keyboard. You don't get mad, you would get even. Periodically others would lock him in his cage, by pennying him into his room before exams. He would have to climb out on the window ledge and fly to the ground. I should not tell you this one, but once the payback lowered the Birdman's desk out the window so it was dangling with a robe, with the other end tied to the inside door knob. They had removed the hinge pins. So when he unlocked the door, the door took out his window. Birdman could sometime get over bearing because he would try to use they character's birdbrain.

 

It was fun and funny for everyone, but not all the time. If one is part of a gaming community or a sci-fi group you pretend alien worlds. Chat rooms, on the internet bring it back where anyone can create a dream world again. It does not go away, but there are places where it is OK. After college you need to wind down again and get back into the pen.

 

What was interesting is the girl, with the fantasy world, was shooting from the hip in terms of a reality observation. The other girls, who are socially adapted, are taken back by the candor, because the herd is suppose to be less truthful from the hip. It is a different type of fantasy in the pen, which doesn't like too much reality all at once.

Edited August 20, 2008 by pioneer

[antimatter 58]

Some people just tend to be more blunt than others when it comes to conversation. I think I am one of those people, I have a tendency to say things right out that people would normally attempt to insinuate or imply...which leads to a few awkward moments now and again.

Being teased as a kid doesn't have much to do with this, in my opinion, it all depends on what kind of personality this person may have.

 

About this fictional character: Perhaps she's just become very invested in this character she's made. There's a gaming show called PurePwnage that my friend's and I watch obsessively, and in this show there's a fictional concept known as "uber micro", which is essentially gaming skill manifested into every day life. We reference this all the time...jokingly, of course.

These are just a few examples of how things might not be as serious as you may think.

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imaginary_friends#Purposes

[blazarwolf 11]

Yeah im kinda wierd... Ive had fantasys all my life. Kinda like when you were a kid and you would play with ninja turtles or whatever, but they never stoped. Now as one would discribe as a social reculse or even asocial at times, I still have fantasys... though they are restricted (to my own supreme metal powers) to what I need to continue existence (and they are never dellusions).

This girl is externalizing, that is she is undoubtibly intellegent and aware of the fact other people are aware of her delusional behavior. This is typically a warning sign in (what may become) siczophrenia. I am no doctor, nor do I beleive the DSM (bible of psychologists) holds all answers. This girl is candid, extrodinarly so.... this means she most likely percieves truama and frankly "doesent give a fock anymore". And yes to answer your question, she could be having delusions becuase she was rejected in life..

Often the best definition of "the cool kids" in high school, are those that are people pleasers, and good at it. Nothing makes you more freinds than making people happy. Generally in the simpleness that is high school (sry im gettin back) having tons of friends means people percieve you as someone they want to be there freind. lots of people want to be your freind = cool.

The fact is that these girls were so nice was becuase they knew... they rememberd just as she did... and in an effort to please other people, and so onto themselves, they were very nice. This girl, is however very different from there world, so different she will probably never be truley there freind, this girl probably has no freinds.

All I can suggest is to become her friend, let her know your there in the easiest way possible. She very well become romantically obsessesed with you, but this is normal among the deprieved. This is all I can say now.

[NeedfulThings 10]

Historically, artistic people have been regarded as social recluses. Maybe, talent manifests because of this lack of interaction and they have a need to express themselves, or are talented in spite of being outcasts, but whatever.

“Mona” is clearly very creative, and, as she had no outlet for her ideas in the real world, decided to utilize it in creating something in the imaginary world.

I can sympathize with this. I, too, am an artistically inclined person. However, while I have never had much trouble communicating with other people, I understand her need for a friend who she can control, and make sure does not leave her.

So, in reply to your initial question, I do think that being rejected could lead to her delusions and her bluntness, because she has been separate from society and the rules it would otherwise have imposed on her.

[zule 64]

I have never had an imaginary friend. However, I have constantly been having imaginary lovers since I was 11. Or was he all the time the same lover who has been growing up? Anyway, my imaginary lover is the best lover I have ever had

 

Following your theory, feeling sexually and/or lovingly rejected by men would be which has led me to have an imaginary lover. However, I have never felt specially rejected in that field. In fact, if I think of a character whom I have really feel rejected by during my childhood, that would be my mother, and I have never created an imaginary mother.