Jump to content

The Good Advice Thread.


the tree

Recommended Posts

Ok, since this has gone a bit more toward jokes and personal experiances, I have some more. Some of these happened to me, some to my friends.

 

When your chemistry teacher tells you to put on goggles, PUT THEM ON!

 

Don't chug a bottle of bubble mix on a dare.

 

DO NOT put a whole sachet of popping candy in your mouth and then drink really fizzy soda afterwards. It sure is funny.....but your stomach will never forgive you for it

 

If you wake up at three a.m. sit down to pee. It may make you feel like less of a man but your floor won't smell like piss for a month.

 

Don't let 12 year olds get near energy drinks.

 

Don't throw frozen crabcakes straight onto the boiling vegtable oil. ( just trust me on that)

 

Do not play with microwaves.

 

Those liquid ice things? NEVER, under ANY circumstances, squeeze one to use in place of eyedrops. It burns like holy hell....

 

Don't cut jalapenos or any kind of hot peper and then pick your nose.

 

Don't fall asleep with one of those icebreaker mints in your mouth, also, don't eat a container of them at once.

 

Don't eat a banana then chug a 7up.

 

Do not sit down without making sure there is toilet paper.

 

I suggest that you refrain from giving the finger to anyone that looks surprised when you come out of an R rated movie (If you're underage). That person may well be the usher's girlfriend.

This got one of my friends banned from a theater.

 

Never get food from a refridgerator while naked. Things get caught in the doors that should never get caught.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

School yourself to focus on positive results. Don't think about the bills you have to pay, think about how to make more money. Don't total up all the people who pissed you off today, remember the ones who made you laugh or did you a favor.

 

Google Fundamental Attribution Error and work to minimize it's affect on the way you deal with people. Cut 'em some slack, Jack!

 

 

 

 

I think of this from Steve Martin when I hear the word "advice":

I'll never forget what my grandfather told me. He said, "Always...." No, wait, it was, "Never...." No, he said, "Always carry a litter bag in your car. It doesn't take up much room and when it gets full you can just toss it out the window." :rolleyes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

maybe it`s just ME but I could have sworn this thread was about GOOD advice?

 

the use of Ilegal drugs is NOT in ANY WAY Condoned or Advocated on SFN!:-(

 

But it's still good advice. And it is condoned and advocated by ParanoiA to use illegal drugs that are safer than legal ones that kill you...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 year later...

This is more like the weird advice thread.

 

I don't think anyone has mentioned the essential:

Don't cook bacon while not wearing pants.

Don't spit into the wind.

 

And as for Sequence's advice about the refrigerator, I guess the same applies to cleaning the house. A couple of years ago, I read that a surprising number of men are hospitalized for things getting stuck in the vacuum cleaner hose. Nearly all of them claimed that they had been cleaning the house nude.

 

Riiight...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is more like the weird advice thread.

 

I don't think anyone has mentioned the essential:

Don't cook bacon while not wearing pants.

Don't spit into the wind.

 

And as for Sequence's advice about the refrigerator, I guess the same applies to cleaning the house. A couple of years ago, I read that a surprising number of men are hospitalized for things getting stuck in the vacuum cleaner hose. Nearly all of them claimed that they had been cleaning the house nude.

 

Riiight...

 

If women don't ask questions about vacuum related accidents with men we will look the other way when it comes to the "stuck" frozen hot dogs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.