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Michael McMahon

Unrequited Love

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“But how can we promote benign envy in ourselves when we are frustrated by another person's superiority? One key is to cultivate a mindset that change is actually possible. Rather than focusing on all the things that we don't have that block self-improvement, dwell on those things over which we have control.”


“Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved. The beloved may not be aware of the admirer's deep and strong romantic affection, or may consciously reject it. The Merriam Webster Online Dictionary defines unrequited as "not reciprocated or returned in kind".”

- Wikipedia 

“For the anxiously attached, having a dissimilar partner may be a way to compensate for one's own shortcomings, say the researchers. So, do opposites attract? Again, it's complicated. But here's a thought: It has been said that the happiest couples never have the same character—they just have the best understanding of their differences.”



No two people are exactly the same to each other. Otherwise you could essentially be in love with a carbon-copy clone of yourself! How then might unrequited love or a relationship breakup affect personality development? Maybe the affection for another person encourages you to assimilate some of their good qualities that are unique to them. The pain of rejection could perhaps allow you to keep everything in perspective and be more emotionally self-sufficient. It teaches you that no one is perfect and that even the other person has their flaws.

So in terms of personality, unrequited love could be of benefit in terms of weighing up and trying to reconcile the pros and cons of certain psychological traits. It may help in personally acknowledging the advantage of a certain mental characteristic without disproportionately glorifying that same person. Many traits like introversion/extroversion for instance exist along a wide and diverse spectrum. So the experience of unrequited love could be an opportunity to subconsciously try to strike a balance in yourself between opposing and seemingly contradictory attributes. 


“If, on the other hand, you look at it as a learning experience and take that new knowledge back into the world, both you, and the world are better served.  You need to believe in something before you can encounter it.”


“Even the closest of lovers remain two separate people, with different needs and expectations. Zeki argues that creativity is a natural, though not necessarily inevitable, reaction to love's frustrations.”


“If we are looking at the entire world and the statistics that exist there, and we need to say that those statistics are quite limited in terms of the number of people tested, areas where they could be performed and the limitations, i.e. they took in consideration only long-term relationships, we have come up with the number of average relationships before marriage to be somewhere between 3 and 5.”


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