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Novalocity

How To Validate Your Life

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1 minute ago, Phi for All said:

If your dad makes your life harder, why do you allow him to be part of it? What is keeping his negativity in your life?

 

I have no choice at the moment because I am still in high school and live in his house. I don't have enough money to move out until next August when I get $10,000 from the military.

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23 minutes ago, Novalocity said:

I have no choice at the moment because I am still in high school and live in his house. I don't have enough money to move out until next August when I get $10,000 from the military.

That's what I was missing. I didn't know you could join the military while you're still in high school. 

So what's your 11 month plan on how you're going to prepare for when this new positive phase in your life begins? Anything you can do to set yourself up nicer when the time comes will be time well spent. Besides the military, are you going to be taking any college courses? If you're moving out, can you live cheaper on a base, or would it be better to have some roommates to share expenses? 

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6 hours ago, Novalocity said:

My entire life since I can remember I have felt this way. I know I am young but that shouldn't be the excuse for negative emotions daily. My Father refuses to let me live my life so I focus all my energy on the future betterment of it. I understand my siblings situations, but don't understand my situation. I think everybody should be created and treated equally. I have more understanding of others reasoning and choices than I do my own. I have tried many techniques to make changes and nothing does. I appreciate what you are all saying, and obviously you don't know the whole situation so you can't give the proper and specific advise, such as telling me exactly what to do or say to improve the issue. I joined the military for two reasons 1) To be provided with the family and friends that I lack in civilian life and 2) For proper order and specific instruction at all times. I prefer order in my life, and maybe that is part of the issue. I stick to my routine and fear change while also wanting change. This should probably become a psyche evaluation, because my problems in life stem from my own mental disdain. 

You may have tried many techniques thus far however removing yourself from your environment is the biggest one with, in my opinion, the best chance of succeeding. So some more patience will be needed. 

*I sent you a PM because I am very familiar with the difference branches of service and their associated benefits. I was going to go over some with you. I was also curious about what specialty you were pursuing.   

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16 hours ago, Phi for All said:

Besides the military, are you going to be taking any college courses? If you're moving out, can you live cheaper on a base, or would it be better to have some roommates to share expenses? 

 

I am going to college for music engineering, and music business. I have it planned to live with my friend near my college in a house because he has saved money and so have I, also I get $10,000 after AIT. That will be a nice add-on to the start of my individual life away from home. 

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30 minutes ago, Novalocity said:

I am going to college for music engineering, and music business. I have it planned to live with my friend near my college in a house because he has saved money and so have I, also I get $10,000 after AIT. That will be a nice add-on to the start of my individual life away from home. 

You seem to be the quintessential Holden Caulfield. Kinda reminds me of a previous member...

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4 minutes ago, dimreepr said:

You seem to be the quintessential Holden Caulfield. Kinda reminds me of a previous member...

An icon for teenage rebellion? Just because I want to pursue music?

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Just now, Novalocity said:

Just because I want to pursue music?

More because you seem determined to pursue your misery.

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1 minute ago, dimreepr said:

More because you seem determined to pursue your misery.

Music is the only thing that helps me fight the misery. I can escape into the lyrics.

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3 minutes ago, Novalocity said:

Music is the only thing that helps me fight the misery. I can escape into the lyrics.

Why wait until the second page, of this thread, to mention that?

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6 minutes ago, dimreepr said:

Why wait until the second page, of this thread, to mention that?

I made it apparent that music is a large part of my life from the beginning. I write lyrics every day because it is a proper escape from my daily disdain and helps me with my mental regression of negativity, I thought I was more clear about the fact that my entire life is only Music and Military. 

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7 minutes ago, dimreepr said:

More because you seem determined to pursue your misery.

In the US, it's pronounced miz-OOR-ee , or miz-OOR-ah. Very humid and intolerant. It's more Dolly Parton than Lil Wayne.

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15 minutes ago, Novalocity said:

I made it apparent that music is a large part of my life from the beginning.

 

Sorry missed that in the OP.

17 minutes ago, Novalocity said:

I write lyrics every day because it is a proper escape 

If it's a proper escape, why are we discussing this? 

22 minutes ago, Novalocity said:

I thought I was more clear about the fact that my entire life is only Music and Military. 

Clearly not to me, but then I'm not the sharpest tool in the box.

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1 hour ago, Novalocity said:

I write lyrics every day because it is a proper escape

Except it isn't. This is just something people say. You aren't escaping from anything. 

You're using your current skills and life experiences to express yourself creatively. You focus on what you're doing like anyone else, and try to block out distractions. This is what the vast majority of people do in life. Perceiving it as escape probably isn't as positive an image as you think it is, especially if you view your family life as some sort of prison. 

You aren't escaping, you're already living your life, gaining experience, developing opinions, exploring emotions. You aren't running away either, so that's good news.

You haven't mentioned this yet, I don't think, but banish the idea of "starting over with a clean slate". It's just another thing people say. Your slate could only ever be clean if you forgot everything you ever learned or did. You'll ALWAYS be much more interesting than a clean slate.

1 hour ago, Novalocity said:

my daily disdain

1 hour ago, Novalocity said:

my mental regression of negativity

If this has all been directed at yourself in the past, has anything changed now that you have an 11-month plan? After all, there's light at the end of the tunnel, and you'll be free soon to pursue life on your own terms. That should help with negativity towards yourself, and it's your choice whether or not you want to take your disdain with you when you leave home (I would leave it under the floor in your bedroom, which your folks will probably turn into a weightlifting room, or a shrine to Mickey Gilley). 

Do you think there's any way you can start practicing being disdain-free over the next 11 months? The stimuli that you react negatively to will still be there, but since you know when it will end, can you start with those blocks and build a positive perception of yourself? 

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1 hour ago, Phi for All said:

 Do you think there's any way you can start practicing being disdain-free over the next 11 months? The stimuli that you react negatively to will still be there, but since you know when it will end, can you start with those blocks and build a positive perception of yourself? 

 

I don't know how to change how I naturally feel daily.

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5 minutes ago, Novalocity said:

I don't know how to change how I naturally feel daily.

That is the double-edged sword humans face daily, knowledge is our Achilles heel; does a dog overthink a feeling, or just accept it? 

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Just now, dimreepr said:

That is the double-edged sword humans face daily, knowledge is our Achilles heel; does a dog overthink a feeling, or just accept it? 

Why would I accept a negative emotion?

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Just now, Novalocity said:

Why would I accept a negative emotion?

What makes you think acceptance is a negative emotion? 

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Just now, dimreepr said:

What makes you think acceptance is a negative emotion? 

No, I'm saying the emotions I feel are negative that's why I don't accept them and instead search for ways to change my daily emotions.

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Just now, Novalocity said:

No, I'm saying the emotions I feel are negative that's why I don't accept them and instead search for ways to change my daily emotions.

That's your choice...

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Just now, dimreepr said:

That's your choice...

This entire conversation has proven that it's not my choice.

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Just now, Novalocity said:

This entire conversation has proven that it's not my choice.

Do you think you're winning?

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2 minutes ago, dimreepr said:

Do you think you're winning?

What? I'm asking for advice. This isn't a game, this is my life and I truthfully have no idea what to do. Advice such as "It's your choice" is not helpful. I have made changes to try and affect my negativity, but still every day I wake up full of negativity. 

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3 minutes ago, Novalocity said:

What? I'm asking for advice. This isn't a game, this is my life and I truthfully have no idea what to do. Advice such as "It's your choice" is not helpful. I have made changes to try and affect my negativity, but still every day I wake up full of negativity. 

What do you expect if you fall asleep accepting that?

What makes you angry? Accepting the bus will be late or expecting the bus is on time?

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1 minute ago, dimreepr said:

What do you expect if you fall asleep accepting that?

What makes you angry? Accepting the bus will be late or expecting the bus is on time?

I drive to school so I can't use that bus metaphor, and I don't get angry I remain dull. It's one constant emotion.

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24 minutes ago, Novalocity said:

 this is my life and I truthfully have no idea what to do. Advice such as "It's your choice" is not helpful.

So, who gets to decide?

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