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Bad science jokes...


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:D This is for bad science jokes. All the worst puns, ect... For the more intellectuals of this forum you will probably stay away from this. But for as of us immature people, I would like to post this post so they can put all their vulgarity, nastiness, and stupidity into one box.










"Have you seen Uranus? I here its round and gassy."

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  • 2 weeks later...

My friend & I made up some math jokes in Chemistry a few days ago; man...chem is boring...anyways:


What's a math teacher's fave. type of toilet paper?




Why did the math teacher fail his eye exam?


B/c he had Dvision


Why did the math teacher's car slip off the road?


B/c it had SubTraction...



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  • 1 year later...

Top Ten Ways to get thrown out of a chemistry lab;


10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.


9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"


8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as "KKK."


7. Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again."


6. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!"


5. Deny the existence of chemicals.


4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it.


3. Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker.


2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the

sulfuric acid


1. Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.

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what solution is acidic only some of the time, despite being exposed to the same constant conditions?


periodic acid


which element is anti-capitalist?





wow, i can't believe i spent 5 minutes trying to think of some. i have shamed myself as well as my family :rolleyes:

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  • 4 months later...

Okay, here it goes:


*Takes out protective glasses and armor in case of people throwing heavy objects*


Two men walk into a bar:


They both yell "OUCH"


Two electrons 'beam' into a bar:




I am sorry, I made them up (not the first one, you can see the remake, hehe)...


Apologizes and walks away quickly,


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*Borrows PersonCube's protective glasses and armor*


Two hydrogen atoms are inside a star, about to fuse into helium. The other says: "It's getting quite hot in here." The other replies: "AAAAGH! A talking hydrogen atom!"


What did the two up quarks in a proton say to the third quark?

-Why are you so down?


Why didn't the gold atom date any francium atoms?

-The gold atom was looking for a more stable relationship.


What did the U-238 atom say to his U-235 friend when they were bombarded by neutrons?

-Keep yourself together!


What do you call a felis domesticus that gains an electron?

-A CATion!


Why all atoms try to sneak into the Neutron Bar, instead of going to their respective bars?

-Because they don't charge you!

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*looks at protective armour and glasses lying on floor, wonders, "Why are they there?"*


What did the Geologist say to when asked if he liked his wifes new dress?


"It makes you look very spathic, my dear."


*finds out*

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Some bad element name puns to help you remember their symbols:


A-U! Get away from my gold.


C-U Later Copper!


N-A-way you look at it, sodium's pretty freaking reactive.


Don't forget to P-B for you go to lead!

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  • 1 year later...

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