[reverse]

Q: how do you feel today?
A: Hungry.
Hungry is Not an emotion!

A comment that women often level at men is that they have no idea what emotions are- hence the exchange above.

So now I’m curious.
How many emotions are there?
I can think of:
Happy.
Sad.
Angry
Scared
Anyone got any more?

[Sayonara³]

One can feel hungry.

She should learn to phrase her questions less ambiguously.

[Coral Rhedd]

Reverse, I apologize if I am incorrect but I sense from your posts that you are a guy. Allow me to help you out here from the female side of the equation. The exchange you mention is coded.

How do you feel today? -- Could mean any of the following:

What sort of mood are you in; I want to request something.

What sort of mood are you in; I want to have sex.

What sort of mood are you in; let us have a heart to heart talk.

What sort of mood are you in; because I want to share mine and I hope yours is similar.

What sort of mood are you in; please tell me everything that ever had an emotional impact upon you from the ages of birth to infinity.

I only asked how you felt; go make your own damn sandwich.

Now all you have to figure out is by answering "Hungry" what real, deep, important emotion you are avoiding. Otherwise, just go make yourself a sandwich.

[Glider]

One can feel hunger. Hunger is a negative state resulting in a psychological drive to seek food. It is accompanied by an emotional (affective-motivational) state which is subject to negative reinforcement. Because of this negative reinforcement, it can be an overwhelming state and can quite easily exclude less salient states (depending on the degree of hunger).

So, perhaps one suggestion might be that no real, deep, important emotion is being hidden, and "it's simply that the most important drive at this time is hunger and after a sandwich, I might be more ready to discuss what it is you really want to know?"

[Nevermore]

Quote

Q: how do you feel today?
A: Hungry.
Hungry is Not an emotion!

A comment that women often level at men is that they have no idea what emotions are- hence the exchange above.

So now I’m curious.
How many emotions are there?
I can think of:
Happy.
Sad.
Angry
Scared
Anyone got any more?

suprised

[Coral Rhedd]

Quote

One can feel hunger. Hunger is a negative state resulting in a psychological drive to seek food. It is accompanied by an emotional (affective-motivational) state which is subject to negative reinforcement. Because of this negative reinforcement, it can be an overwhelming state and can quite easily exclude less salient states (depending on the degree of hunger).

So, perhaps one suggestion might be that no real, deep, important emotion is being hidden, and "it's simply that the most important drive at this time is hunger and after a sandwich, I might be more ready to discuss what it is you really want to know?"

Great point Glider. Perhaps you can tell me how to solve this one: Sex is also a drive. Wanting sex can be a product of sexual deprivation. In my experience from talking to many many women friends, they want affirmation of emotional connection before providing sex.

Does this mean that men and women have some sort of inevitable impass? That most women want men to discuss love before sex and that most men want to satisfy their sexual drive before they can discuss feelings?

If this is so, is it because men have a stronger sex drive? Or are the sex drives in men and women just different in how they are manifested?

[Hellbender]

Quote

Does this mean that men and women have some sort of inevitable impass? That most women want men to discuss love before sex and that most men want to satisfy their sexual drive before they can discuss feelings?

If this is so, is it because men have a stronger sex drive? Or are the sex drives in men and women just different in how they are manifested?

men have an almost constant need to release semen, and it often takes top priority in their motivation and thinking. Once their sex drive is satisfied, the desire is no longer there, overshadoeing everything else. At least thats my theory in layman's terms. Watch the movie "there's something about mary" for a more candid description.

[Deified]

Coral Rhedd I believe you are overlooking one important point: Women's sex drives differ from men's not in magnitude, but in goal. Forgive me for being callus, but for a man, there is no logical reason to maintain a monogamous relationship, besides lack of partners. For a woman, a monogamous relationship makes more sense because of the period she must wait between reproductions. A man is just seeking to spread his genes over as much area as possible. It remains something of a mystery to me why we have monogamy at all in our modern western culture. It seems much more practical for each male to have multiple partners. Some cultures do this (e.g. Mormons, several tribes in Africa whose names are escaping me, etc.) not to mention many species behave in this way.

So it is not necessarily that men have a bigger sex-drive than women, it just has a different goal.

[Coral Rhedd]

Deified said:

Coral Rhedd I believe you are overlooking one important point: Women's sex drives differ from men's not in magnitude, but in goal. Forgive me for being callus, but for a man, there is no logical reason to maintain a monogamous relationship, besides lack of partners. For a woman, a monogamous relationship makes more sense because of the period she must wait between reproductions.

If women stop having children or at least have significantly fewer children, would this goal change for women? What then would be women's sexual goal?

Quote

A man is just seeking to spread his genes over as much area as possible. It remains something of a mystery to me why we have monogamy at all in our modern western culture.

I would be interested in hearing you speculate nevertheless as to why monogamy does exist. Allow me to remind you that we now know that even animal species we previously thought to be monogamous actually get a little on the side. How sure you are that monogamy is the norm for either men or women? I define monogamy as a lifelong commitment to one mate. Not to shock you, but I do not know of a single (OR MARRIED :rolleyes: ) woman who would fit this description. I haven't surveyed men.

Quote

It seems much more practical for each male to have multiple partners. Some cultures do this (e.g. Mormons, several tribes in Africa whose names are escaping me, etc.) not to mention many species behave in this way.

May I ask what type of relationship you partake of or aspire to?

I certainly can see the advantage of more than one mate. I would especially like one who understood his purpose was to concentrate on household chores and another who understood his purpose was to make money and another who understood that, despite all evidence to the contrary, I still want flowers on Valentine's Day. :-)

[john5746]

Quote

Coral Rhedd I believe you are overlooking one important point: Women's sex drives differ from men's not in magnitude, but in goal. Forgive me for being callus, but for a man, there is no logical reason to maintain a monogamous relationship, besides lack of partners. For a woman, a monogamous relationship makes more sense because of the period she must wait between reproductions. A man is just seeking to spread his genes over as much area as possible. It remains something of a mystery to me why we have monogamy at all in our modern western culture. It seems much more practical for each male to have multiple partners. Some cultures do this (e.g. Mormons, several tribes in Africa whose names are escaping me, etc.) not to mention many species behave in this way.

So it is not necessarily that men have a bigger sex-drive than women, it just has a different goal.

1) The majority of Mormons do not practive polygomy - Latter Day Saints do not.

2) Similar to the apes, I think men are geared to dominate, and have a harem. We are also geared to run around naked and fight other men. Seems like I have seen somewhere that men with higher levels of testosterone tend to stray more, and are more desired(physically)

The point to being human is to rise above our evolution IMO. Of course, we can understand why we have certain feelings, etc. Since we usually have equal men/women ratios, I don't see how leaving many men without the chance of a partner helps society, unless they "share" - which brings up the STD problem.

[Hellbender]

Quote

Coral Rhedd I believe you are overlooking one important point: Women's sex drives differ from men's not in magnitude, but in goal. Forgive me for being callus, but for a man, there is no logical reason to maintain a monogamous relationship, besides lack of partners. For a woman, a monogamous relationship makes more sense because of the period she must wait between reproductions. A man is just seeking to spread his genes over as much area as possible. It remains something of a mystery to me why we have monogamy at all in our modern western culture. It seems much more practical for each male to have multiple partners. Some cultures do this (e.g. Mormons, several tribes in Africa whose names are escaping me, etc.) not to mention many species behave in this way.

So it is not necessarily that men have a bigger sex-drive than women, it just has a different goal.

very good points. It is true that sexual motivation differs, which is exempliefied in men's tendency to become bored with the same partner, probably becasue of an innate desire to spread their DNA around (like you said) Women are usually content with the same partner, provided said partner meets her (sexual and non-sexual) needs. Men are in a state of having a constantly renewed supply of semen, as opposed to a limited number of ovaries in a female. A man's sex drive that corresponds to the supply of said semen. After a man releases the semen (I am getting tired of typing this word :-) ), his sex drive "cools down" for a while, until it is replenished, probably to give his body a chance to manufacture more. So I believe it is differences in sexual motivation as well as men having a constant supply of semen to enable them to spread thier DNA around more. You are right, it differs in motivation, but this also affects the magnitude.

[Hellbender]

john5746 said:

The point to being human is to rise above our evolution IMO. Of course, we can understand why we have certain feelings, etc. Since we usually have equal men/women ratios, I don't see how leaving many men without the chance of a partner helps society, unless they "share" - which brings up the STD problem.

Sadly, humans will never rise above our evolutionary traits. While I can see how this would be beneficial (in the case of partner sharing/STD risk), there are stupid people out there who never think of such things as avoiding instinct.

[Coral Rhedd]

Well when I lived on the ranch we had a rather cutting solution to the extra guys problem. Do you think that would be an advantage these days? Those guys who had harems sometimes had castrated guys to guard the harems. I cannot remember what they were called.

[Coral Rhedd]

Hellbender said:

Sadly, humans will never rise above our evolutionary traits. While I can see how this would be beneficial (in the case of partner sharing/STD risk), there are stupid people out there who never think of such things as avoiding instinct.

Geez Hellbender, I'm trying to take Diefied seriously here. No need to fling insults. I don't want him to get shy and not answer my very important questions concerning women enjoying more than one mate. :D

If men could behave that way for thousands of years, now that women can obtain good birth control, isn't our turn?

[Hellbender]

Coral Rhedd said:

May I ask what type of relationship you partake of or aspire to?

while I know this question was not for me, my above posts do not reflect my lifestyle. They are only obervations based on experience and what I learn about anthropology and biopsychology. On a personal note, I am monogamous, and I have one partner who I plan to marry. I have no desire to stray because I think of the bigger picture and the consequences such an action would have on the woman I love.

[Hellbender]

Quote

Geez Hellbender, I'm trying to take Diefied seriously here. No need to fling insults. I don't want him to get shy and not answer my very important questions concerning women enjoying more than one mate. :D

If men could behave that way for thousands of years, now that women can obtain good birth control, isn't our turn?

Huh? I wasn't insulting anybody here. I apologize if my comments were interpreted that way.

[Hellbender]

Coral Rhedd said:

Well when I lived on the ranch we had a rather cutting solution to the extra guys problem. Do you think that would be an advantage these days? Those guys who had harems sometimes had castrated guys to guard the harems. I cannot remember what they were called.

eunochs.

[Coral Rhedd]

Hellbender said:

Huh? I wasn't insulting anybody here. I apologize if my comments were interpreted that way.

Oh oh. Now I've gone and done it. I was just kidding you guys a little. Honestly. :-)

[Hellbender]

Coral Rhedd said:

Oh oh. Now I've gone and done it. I was just kidding you guys a little. Honestly. :-)

ok good. I don't want any hard feelings here. This could turn out to be a very interesting discussion, and I really don't want to come off like I am trolling or something.

[Coral Rhedd]

Hellbender said:

ok good. I don't want any hard feelings here. This could turn out to be a very interesting discussion, and I really don't want to come off like I am trolling or something.

Absolutely not. Me neither. I want to keep the high ground and don't want to seem like . . . people who never answer other people's questions and inaccurately misrepresent other people's arguments. My apologies to Diefied if I went to far.