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Why sometimes we hate to listen to advice?
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Hate advice
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#2
29 September 2004 - 02:02 PM
Firedragon52 
Baryon
mab said:
Why sometimes we hate to listen to advice?
Because we know everything already...right? ;)
Challenge is a dragon with a gift in its mouth... Tame the dragon and the gift is yours.
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#4
29 September 2004 - 08:39 PM
ydoaPs
just lost the game
YT2095 said:
I can understand the hating of hearing BAD advice, but other types???
i think he is talking about constructive criticism.
"Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free."-Valerie(V for Vendetta)
"Scientism" is the pejorative those who believe in magic give to Empiricism so they can pretend making stuff up is on equal footing with Science.
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"Scientism" is the pejorative those who believe in magic give to Empiricism so they can pretend making stuff up is on equal footing with Science.
Don't forget to follow me on facebook.
If you like my post, please show me by clicking the green plus ------->
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#6
30 September 2004 - 06:45 AM
Glider
C.Psychol.
Often, when people ask for advice, they are actually asking for objective justification for a decision they have already made. If the advice given differs to what they want to hear, it usually doesn't go down too well.
"The strongest knowledge (that of the total unfreedom of the human will) is nonetheless the poorest in success, for it always has the strongest opponent: Human vanity" (Nietzsche, 1879).
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#7
8 November 2004 - 06:21 AM
alt_f13
Molecule
Glider said:
Often, when people ask for advice, they are actually asking for objective justification for a decision they have already made. If the advice given differs to what they want to hear, it usually doesn't go down too well.
I love positive reaffirmation; that is totally me. Critisism, regardless of what 'constructive' properties it may possess infuriates me, especially on matters that I consider myself an authority on. grr...
Something that makes me even madder, though, is someone saying "no" just because an idea wasn't theirs. It is like they don't want to admit someone has the ability think something up before they do. (Of course I'm talking about 'the man' here.) Being someone who considers himself to be rather industrious, this is a real pain in the patooter to me.
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#8
12 November 2004 - 03:36 PM
Verusamore
Baryon
From observation .
My little brother doesn't take kindly to advice .
My mother doesn't listen when I suggest something .
Other children don't like parents advice .
Parents don't like childrens advice .
Some families / people are like this , so here is my idea ..
why .
Because people have ways of defending oneself from defeat / humiliation
how ..
Because they say they already know everything , so therefore will prove you wrong no matter how right you are .
why ...
They don't want to appear any less smarter than anyone else ,
why ....
If I were to not like being put down then I would seem to be one who doesn't like others to be smarter than me .
From analysis
In compariscence ,
>In eastern cultures children are tought to respect there parents words ,
>In western cultures most children are tought through television .
My family comes from an eastern background yet I was raised in a western country
and how do these relate to factors?
Cultural Identity defines a person to be as one who reflects a respect or reaffirmation towards there influences .
and why ?
Because in western cultures , children have the belief that parents are 'old fashioned' ,are not 'cool' to be around and are
probaly not worth listening to either therefore adopting other ways of fitting into society with a prone-ess to fall under the
children with weak personality types therefore are vulnerable to peer pressure and other external influences
My little brother doesn't take kindly to advice .
My mother doesn't listen when I suggest something .
Other children don't like parents advice .
Parents don't like childrens advice .
Some families / people are like this , so here is my idea ..
why .
Because people have ways of defending oneself from defeat / humiliation
how ..
Because they say they already know everything , so therefore will prove you wrong no matter how right you are .
why ...
They don't want to appear any less smarter than anyone else ,
why ....
If I were to not like being put down then I would seem to be one who doesn't like others to be smarter than me .
From analysis
In compariscence ,
>In eastern cultures children are tought to respect there parents words ,
>In western cultures most children are tought through television .
My family comes from an eastern background yet I was raised in a western country
and how do these relate to factors?
Cultural Identity defines a person to be as one who reflects a respect or reaffirmation towards there influences .
and why ?
Because in western cultures , children have the belief that parents are 'old fashioned' ,are not 'cool' to be around and are
probaly not worth listening to either therefore adopting other ways of fitting into society with a prone-ess to fall under the
children with weak personality types therefore are vulnerable to peer pressure and other external influences
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#9
19 November 2004 - 03:02 AM
gene
Atom
i agree on the eastern culture and western culture. Good Point. THat is mainly the problem. OUr exposure. The culture that we live in greatly contributes to the building of oour character.
Besides, the eastern culture has been greatly influenced by the western culture. THat's is why now, we notice this shift. Asian do not necessarily respect that parents that much any more because in through western influence, we are thought of the thing called freedom. the will to do anything we want. Direspecting in this case.
Education had boosted our ego in us. many think he/she is smarter. therefore, refusing to heed advice.
It all boils to to character. And how our environment has caused us to become what we are.
Besides, the eastern culture has been greatly influenced by the western culture. THat's is why now, we notice this shift. Asian do not necessarily respect that parents that much any more because in through western influence, we are thought of the thing called freedom. the will to do anything we want. Direspecting in this case.
Education had boosted our ego in us. many think he/she is smarter. therefore, refusing to heed advice.
It all boils to to character. And how our environment has caused us to become what we are.
"Lack of will power has caused more failure than lack of intelligence or ability." - Flower A. Newhouse
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#10
19 November 2004 - 03:05 AM
Lance
Organism
Many times I don’t listen to advice because the person giving the advice doesn’t really care about helping but just wants to make themselves look better than me.
Marvin: I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.
Zem: Er, five.
Marvin: Wrong. You see?
Zem: Er, five.
Marvin: Wrong. You see?
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#11
19 November 2004 - 04:00 PM
Gilded
Primate
Personally, I don't mind advice. Unless it concerns something I consider myself being good at. :) Luckily, there aren't many things I'm good at so guess I mostly like advice. :|
Gonna paint the table, gonna paint it fine
Gonna use H2SO4 because the wood is PINE!
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Gonna use H2SO4 because the wood is PINE!
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#13
20 November 2004 - 06:19 AM
john5746
Primate
Quote
i agree on the eastern culture and western culture. Good Point. THat is mainly the problem. OUr exposure. The culture that we live in greatly contributes to the building of oour character.
Besides, the eastern culture has been greatly influenced by the western culture. THat's is why now, we notice this shift. Asian do not necessarily respect that parents that much any more because in through western influence, we are thought of the thing called freedom. the will to do anything we want. Direspecting in this case.
Education had boosted our ego in us. many think he/she is smarter. therefore, refusing to heed advice.
It all boils to to character. And how our environment has caused us to become what we are.
Besides, the eastern culture has been greatly influenced by the western culture. THat's is why now, we notice this shift. Asian do not necessarily respect that parents that much any more because in through western influence, we are thought of the thing called freedom. the will to do anything we want. Direspecting in this case.
Education had boosted our ego in us. many think he/she is smarter. therefore, refusing to heed advice.
It all boils to to character. And how our environment has caused us to become what we are.
I have a great deal of respect for 'Eastern' culture - what I understand of it. I think some of the 'Western' influences mentioned came about from economics. In the US, kids are expected to go out and live on their own, earn a living, etc. So, parents want them to be independent. When they grow old, they want to remain independent.
As far as advice goes, in my experience, I have found Japanese/Chinese to take criticism/advice worse than Americans. Losing face is a big deal to them. So, I don't think Eastern or Western culture handles advice any better, except with Parents as you mentioned. But, you can respect someone and still not take their advice - like marrying an idiot for example.
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#14
21 November 2004 - 08:05 AM
iglak
Molecule
me personally:
i love advice when i ask for it, and i like advice when it's helpful. but sometimes people give advice in order to make others think they are smart, or smarter than the one they are giving advice to. i hate that. and i hate it when people give me advice to do something in the same way that i was going to do it, or was in the process of doing.
in my town (near San Francisco, California, USA), a lot of kids in my grade are depressed right now. from observations, and interactions with my parents, i've concluded that the main reason is an absence of trust from parents to kids. all our lives we've been taught that we will be something great someday, that there is no end to our possibilities. that's all well and good, but our parents are too worryful and panicky, and retracted that when we got older. instead of still saying we can be great, they gave us advice where we didn't need, want, or invite it, and where it wouldn't help us at all. our parents didn't trust us to be able to do the thinge they gave us advice on without their advice. our parents succumbed to the public fear that all teens are angsty and can't be trusted, so we became angsty to show them that we can be trusted, but they refuse to admit they are wrong. the only reason we don't respect our parents' words is because they are too often wrong and pointless, so we don't know when to trust them or not. and that only makes them want to advise us more, and interfere more. and the country in general doesn't trust our age group, and doesn't want us to become great.
i love advice when i ask for it, and i like advice when it's helpful. but sometimes people give advice in order to make others think they are smart, or smarter than the one they are giving advice to. i hate that. and i hate it when people give me advice to do something in the same way that i was going to do it, or was in the process of doing.
in my town (near San Francisco, California, USA), a lot of kids in my grade are depressed right now. from observations, and interactions with my parents, i've concluded that the main reason is an absence of trust from parents to kids. all our lives we've been taught that we will be something great someday, that there is no end to our possibilities. that's all well and good, but our parents are too worryful and panicky, and retracted that when we got older. instead of still saying we can be great, they gave us advice where we didn't need, want, or invite it, and where it wouldn't help us at all. our parents didn't trust us to be able to do the thinge they gave us advice on without their advice. our parents succumbed to the public fear that all teens are angsty and can't be trusted, so we became angsty to show them that we can be trusted, but they refuse to admit they are wrong. the only reason we don't respect our parents' words is because they are too often wrong and pointless, so we don't know when to trust them or not. and that only makes them want to advise us more, and interfere more. and the country in general doesn't trust our age group, and doesn't want us to become great.
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#15
19 November 2004 - 03:02 AM
gene
Atom
i agree on the eastern culture and western culture. Good Point. THat is mainly the problem. OUr exposure. The culture that we live in greatly contributes to the building of oour character.
Besides, the eastern culture has been greatly influenced by the western culture. THat's is why now, we notice this shift. Asian do not necessarily respect that parents that much any more because in through western influence, we are thought of the thing called freedom. the will to do anything we want. Direspecting in this case.
Education had boosted our ego in us. many think he/she is smarter. therefore, refusing to heed advice.
It all boils to to character. And how our environment has caused us to become what we are.
Besides, the eastern culture has been greatly influenced by the western culture. THat's is why now, we notice this shift. Asian do not necessarily respect that parents that much any more because in through western influence, we are thought of the thing called freedom. the will to do anything we want. Direspecting in this case.
Education had boosted our ego in us. many think he/she is smarter. therefore, refusing to heed advice.
It all boils to to character. And how our environment has caused us to become what we are.
"Lack of will power has caused more failure than lack of intelligence or ability." - Flower A. Newhouse
- Posts: 532 | Joined: 24-November 03
- Reply
#16
19 November 2004 - 03:05 AM
Lance
Organism
Many times I don’t listen to advice because the person giving the advice doesn’t really care about helping but just wants to make themselves look better than me.
Marvin: I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.
Zem: Er, five.
Marvin: Wrong. You see?
Zem: Er, five.
Marvin: Wrong. You see?
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#17
19 November 2004 - 04:00 PM
Gilded
Primate
Personally, I don't mind advice. Unless it concerns something I consider myself being good at. :) Luckily, there aren't many things I'm good at so guess I mostly like advice. :|
Gonna paint the table, gonna paint it fine
Gonna use H2SO4 because the wood is PINE!
-
#sfn IRC chatroom - Where the fun never stops
Gonna use H2SO4 because the wood is PINE!
-
#sfn IRC chatroom - Where the fun never stops
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- Reply
#19
20 November 2004 - 06:19 AM
john5746
Primate
Quote
i agree on the eastern culture and western culture. Good Point. THat is mainly the problem. OUr exposure. The culture that we live in greatly contributes to the building of oour character.
Besides, the eastern culture has been greatly influenced by the western culture. THat's is why now, we notice this shift. Asian do not necessarily respect that parents that much any more because in through western influence, we are thought of the thing called freedom. the will to do anything we want. Direspecting in this case.
Education had boosted our ego in us. many think he/she is smarter. therefore, refusing to heed advice.
It all boils to to character. And how our environment has caused us to become what we are.
Besides, the eastern culture has been greatly influenced by the western culture. THat's is why now, we notice this shift. Asian do not necessarily respect that parents that much any more because in through western influence, we are thought of the thing called freedom. the will to do anything we want. Direspecting in this case.
Education had boosted our ego in us. many think he/she is smarter. therefore, refusing to heed advice.
It all boils to to character. And how our environment has caused us to become what we are.
I have a great deal of respect for 'Eastern' culture - what I understand of it. I think some of the 'Western' influences mentioned came about from economics. In the US, kids are expected to go out and live on their own, earn a living, etc. So, parents want them to be independent. When they grow old, they want to remain independent.
As far as advice goes, in my experience, I have found Japanese/Chinese to take criticism/advice worse than Americans. Losing face is a big deal to them. So, I don't think Eastern or Western culture handles advice any better, except with Parents as you mentioned. But, you can respect someone and still not take their advice - like marrying an idiot for example.
- Posts: 2,727 | Joined: 25-July 04
- Reply
#20
21 November 2004 - 08:05 AM
iglak
Molecule
me personally:
i love advice when i ask for it, and i like advice when it's helpful. but sometimes people give advice in order to make others think they are smart, or smarter than the one they are giving advice to. i hate that. and i hate it when people give me advice to do something in the same way that i was going to do it, or was in the process of doing.
in my town (near San Francisco, California, USA), a lot of kids in my grade are depressed right now. from observations, and interactions with my parents, i've concluded that the main reason is an absence of trust from parents to kids. all our lives we've been taught that we will be something great someday, that there is no end to our possibilities. that's all well and good, but our parents are too worryful and panicky, and retracted that when we got older. instead of still saying we can be great, they gave us advice where we didn't need, want, or invite it, and where it wouldn't help us at all. our parents didn't trust us to be able to do the thinge they gave us advice on without their advice. our parents succumbed to the public fear that all teens are angsty and can't be trusted, so we became angsty to show them that we can be trusted, but they refuse to admit they are wrong. the only reason we don't respect our parents' words is because they are too often wrong and pointless, so we don't know when to trust them or not. and that only makes them want to advise us more, and interfere more. and the country in general doesn't trust our age group, and doesn't want us to become great.
i love advice when i ask for it, and i like advice when it's helpful. but sometimes people give advice in order to make others think they are smart, or smarter than the one they are giving advice to. i hate that. and i hate it when people give me advice to do something in the same way that i was going to do it, or was in the process of doing.
in my town (near San Francisco, California, USA), a lot of kids in my grade are depressed right now. from observations, and interactions with my parents, i've concluded that the main reason is an absence of trust from parents to kids. all our lives we've been taught that we will be something great someday, that there is no end to our possibilities. that's all well and good, but our parents are too worryful and panicky, and retracted that when we got older. instead of still saying we can be great, they gave us advice where we didn't need, want, or invite it, and where it wouldn't help us at all. our parents didn't trust us to be able to do the thinge they gave us advice on without their advice. our parents succumbed to the public fear that all teens are angsty and can't be trusted, so we became angsty to show them that we can be trusted, but they refuse to admit they are wrong. the only reason we don't respect our parents' words is because they are too often wrong and pointless, so we don't know when to trust them or not. and that only makes them want to advise us more, and interfere more. and the country in general doesn't trust our age group, and doesn't want us to become great.
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