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Correction of my English work


lopi456

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Hi,

 

I'm French and at the end of the year I have an examen. I have to prepare a document (I did it) and I search a native who could correct my grammatical errors. Here is my document :

 

 

Spaces and exchanges

Introduction:

 

I’m going to talk about the notion of Spaces and Exchanges. This notion represent a very broad concept, it relate to the various ways of moving all around the world. Exchanges can be of various kinds for instances cultural, economics or movement of people. We will see the example of the British Asian community and I’ll try to show how the British Indian Colonization lead to many exchanges and modifications of the space between theses two civilizations.

 

 

 

I) The British empire and it’s impact on India

 

 

The colonization of India began at the end of the 16th century. Even if they were not the first, British settlers progressively settled in India and ends up by creating in 1600 the British East India Company to increase there leverage. By means of this company, they started to exploit resources of India and thus causing great modifications of the spaces. Indeed, British built a lot of infrastructures on the Indian territory such as mines for the exploitation of diamond, coal, and gold, they also built railway systems, churches or cathedrals. Theses spaces modifications will be supplemented by exchanges of different sorts. Before and even after the abolition of slavery, many Indian were hired by the British Indian Company and sent all around the British Empire. In that way, they widely contributed to the formation of migratory flows.

At the cultural level, the English language became one of the new national language with the Hindi. Many Indians were compelled to learn the English to be able to work with the British who had the control of many business lines. Still today, speaking English represent a very important asset for Indians during the globalization of the world. The colonization also triggered good changes, for instance rise of schooling and literacy, the creation of new administrations, legal systems and escalation of democracy. The proximity between theses two cultures also wage to the interracial marriages and apparition of a mixed populations whose descendant shape India today.

We saw that this colonization had many impact in India during time by leading to modifications of spaces but also exchanges between cultures and people.

 

 

II) The British Asian community and it’s impacts on Britain

 

 

In a similar way, Indians also affect the British civilization. As a mater of fact, the decolonization induced the arrival of many Indians on the Britain territory. Very often, they migrate for economic reasons to flee the poverty on there country. They come to Britain because they speak English thanks to the British Colonization as we saw in the first part. These British Asian gather in Indian neighborhood and they open many restaurant and corner-shops were they share there gastronomic culture. To this extent, Indian contributed to modifying the British culture notably in cook but also in music, cinema with the apparition of Bollywood which is the name of the Indian film industry who broadcast all around the world. These modification are still visible today, for example the tea, originally from India, has become an inescapable tradition in Britain. The cohabitation of these two civilization created positive exchanges and a link between these communities as we can see in an image we studied in class. On this picture there is an Indian women and a foot guard in front of the Buckingham palace. The women represent all the Indian community and the guard the British. It appear that the guard give it’s protection to the women, this situation symbolize the good relationships between Indian and British. Even if usually there are no tensions between the communities, it’s sometimes complex to be integrated in a different culture. The disagreement can be of religious nature or simply cultural but however described, they lead to a culture clash. In the film Bend It Like Beckham, Jess is a teenager who want to play football professionally but her parents who are Sikh so they want there daughter to go to university and marry with a Sikh husband. The film focus on the culture clash between the family which is very conservative of the Sikh religion and Jess who is open-minded and influenced by the British society.

 

 

Conclusion:

 

The British colonization of India has considerably altered spaces and cultures of both countries. Theses modification are still visible today and the result of the colonization and decolonization is the mixed society which exist as well in India as in Britain today. Most of the time, exchanges have been beneficial for both countries but they also sometimes provoke culture clash between the communities.

 

 

Thanks a lot for your help !

Edited by lopi456
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Introduction:

 

I’m going to talk about the notion of Spaces and Exchanges. This notion represents a very broad concept, it related to the various ways of moving all around the world. Exchanges can be of various kinds, for instances cultural, economics, or movement of people. We will see the example of the British Asian community and I’ll try to show how the British Indian Colonization lead led to many exchanges and modifications of the space between theses two civilizations.

 

 

 

I) The British empire and it’s its impact on India

 

 

The colonization of India began at the end of the 16th century. Even if they were not the first, British settlers progressively settled in India and ends ended up by creating in 1600 the British East India Company to increase there their leverage. By means of this company, they started to exploited the resources of India and thus causing caused great modifications of the spaces. Indeed, the British built a lot of infrastructures on the Indian territory such as mines for the exploitation of diamond, coal, and gold, and they also built railway systems, churches or cathedrals. Theses spaces modifications will be supplemented by exchanges of different sorts. Before and even after the abolition of slavery, many Indian were hired by the British Indian Company and sent all around the British Empire. In that way, they widely contributed to the formation of migratory flows.

 

At the cultural level, the English language became one of the new national languages with the Hindi. Many Indians were compelled to learn the English to be able to work with the British who had the control of many business lines. Still today, speaking English represents a very important asset for Indians during the globalization of the world. The colonization also triggered good changes, for instance the rise of schooling and literacy, the creation of new administrations, legal systems and escalation of democracy. The proximity between theses these two cultures also [[wage] Not sure at all what you mean by using this word! Pick a synonym for what you mean!] to the interracial marriages and apparition of a mixed populations whose descendant shape India today. We saw that this colonization had many impacts in India during time by leading to modifications of spaces but also exchanges between cultures and people.

 

 

II) The British Asian community and it’s its impacts on Britain

 

 

In a similar way, Indians also affect the British civilization. As a mater of fact, the decolonization induced the arrival of many Indians on the Britain territory. Very often, they migrate for economic reasons to flee the poverty on there their country. They come to Britain because they speak English thanks to the British Colonization as we saw in the first part. These British Asians gather in Indian neighborhoods and they open many restaurants and corner-shops were where they share there their gastronomic culture. To this extent, Indians contributed to modifying the British culture notably in cooking but also in music, cinema with the apparition of Bollywood which is the name of the Indian film industry who broadcast all around the world. These modification are still visible today, for example the tea, originally from India, has become an inescapable tradition in Britain. The cohabitation of these two civilization created positive exchanges and a link between these communities as we can see in an image we studied in class. On this picture there is an Indian women woman and a foot guard in front of the Buckingham palace Palace. The women woman represents all the Indian community and the guard the British. It appears that the guard gives it’s his protection to the women woman, this situation symbolize the good relationships between Indian and British. Even if usually there are no tensions between the communities, it’s sometimes complex to be integrated in a different culture. The disagreement can be of religious nature or simply cultural but however described, they lead to a culture clash. In the film Bend It Like Beckham, Jess is a teenager who wants to play football professionally but her parents who are Sikh so they want there their daughter to go to university and marry with a Sikh husband. The film focuses on the culture clash between the family which is very conservative of the Sikh religion and Jess who is open-minded and influenced by the British society.

 

 

Conclusion:

 

The British colonization of India has considerably altered spaces and cultures of both countries. Theses modification are still visible today and the result of the colonization and decolonization is the mixed society which exist as well in India as in Britain today. Most of the time, exchanges have been beneficial for both countries but they also sometimes provoke culture clash between the communities.

Here are a few markups that will help, not comprehensive and mostly just grammar. Good luck!
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I’m going to talk about (Awkward introduction) the notion of Spaces and Exchanges. This notion represents a very broad concept , it related to the various ways of moving all transportation (synonym) around the world. These Exchanges can be of various kinds for instances diverse such as cultural, economics economical, or the movement of people. We will see the example of In this paper, I will investigate the British Asian community, and I’ll try to show how explain how the British Indian Colonization lead led to many exchanges and modifications of the space* between theses two civilizations.

 

 

I did my best. I am not the best in writing papers, but I quite enjoy reviewing them and fixing simple mistakes. Forgive me in advanced if there are any errors in my review.w

 

 

*What does this space mean? Do you mean the physical distance between Great Britain and India, or the cultural distance between them?

Edited by NimrodTheGoat
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