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pretending you didn't see them in public?


mad_scientist

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hey,

 

what does everyone here normally do when they encounter someone they have previously met but don't really know too well and don't have much to talk about with?

 

is it normal and ok to ignore the person and pretend you didn't see them?

 

what does everyone here normally do in these sorts of situations?

 

if i met you before and we are in a public area, would you be ok if i ignored you and pretended that i didn't see you? has anyone ever encountered a situation when someone they knew did this to them?

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Nobody is forcing you to be social. If you don't want to talk to somebody and you aren't paid to talk to them then you have no responsibility to talk to them. Should they try to talk to you and it would be rude to ignore them you can request they arrange a meeting with yourself at a time that suits you.

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What I usually do is greet them without slowing down. That way you are polite, yet make it clear that you're going somewhere.

 

Chances are this acquaintance is not really interested in the talk anyway, and relieved he doesn't have to talk to you.

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yea, a polite nod of acknowledgement and keep moving like your on a mission. No need to stop. You can even say your in a hurry and just keep moving if they try to stop you. Blanking them completely is a bit rude though, even if you don't like them.

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In my branch (medicine) it's quite irregular to just walk by someone you know or you've spoken with even one time - at least that's how I perceive it. When I encounter someone I've had a small talk with once, I'd surely say "hi" or indeed greet them with a polite nod. On our campus, it's quite easy to get to know anyone and you're known by a lot of people rather quickly without even having spoken to them. Which you notice when random people you've never ever encountered before start to greet you and you begin to question your memory.

 

It's not uncommon to even greet your professors whom you've never really had a talk with, they surely do appreciate that. Just a polite nod saying only "prof" is enough.

 

But ... uni wouldn't be uni if you wouldn't have your classical year jerks hated by most of the year. Whom I do not greet at all and I just walk by without even looking at them. Long story.

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  • 1 month later...

If you don't feel like saying anything, just smile or wave. Acknowledge their presence at least.

 

An exception would be university professors. Most of them don't talk to students outside of class and don't feel the least bit guilty.

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If they haven't seen you, you can do anything you want.

 

You only have to pretend if they've seen you, and trust me, there's a difference between glancing around and glancing away. They will know you're pretending. It's a recognition in your eyes the other person can spot (you've seen other people pretend not to see you, and you knew right away, didn't you?). If you're an adult, you don't need to pretend anymore.

 

If you don't have the time or desire to stop and chat, maybe they don't either. In any case, you can always say something like, "Hey, [insert Your First Name & Your Last Name], we met at [insert Place Name]. I have to keep moving, but it's good to see you again." You don't have to linger or take up much time or effort, and if they seem like they want to chat you simply reiterate your need to keep moving. Crazy schedule, juggling contest, people understand that sort of thing.

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When I'm, for example, standing in a long hallway, and someone I was going to meet is entering the hallway from the other side, I feel uncomfortable looking at them all the way until they reach me lol

 

Like "should I say 'hi' now? or now? or perhaps now?"

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I get that long corridor thing... I went on a couple of internet dates where that happened - twice I could tell from the facial features and the body language of my dates that they wanted to run off before even talking to me. The long approach did not make it any easier at all. I am still friends with one of them and regularly chat on facebook. The other was quite rude, opening with "oh God! this is a mistake!"... At least she was clear about it I suppose - lol. I was quite short with that one and insisted that we sat and had a 5 min chat over coffee before she ran off. She did warm to my personality, but just did not like the look of me or something.

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