TheRadiochemist

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About TheRadiochemist

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  • Favorite Area of Science
    Radiochemistry

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  1. A shame I don’t have a girlfriend, because currently I have to do science stuff alone. It really sucks because I keep seeing pictures of people hanging out and asking each other to dances and I keep thinking “Why didn’t they invite me? How did this new kid that just came here get invited and I didn’t? I barely have any friends, and I can’t seem to get a girl. I don’t really have any male friends, but I’m friends with a lot of girls, but none of them ever want to even consider taking it to the next level. I always feel left out, and I can never fit in.

    1. Phi for All

      Phi for All

      If you always feel left out, you may be looking at everything as a single circle. Life is really about multiple circles of inclusion, and you look for overlapping borders of similarity. It's more like a Venn diagram than some kind of barricaded building, or a dance you aren't invited to. 

      I think the best relationships start with a good understanding of the first level. Sometimes we try to push things to the next level because it's expected, and that's when it can appear insincere or forced. If you already have lots of friends who are women, find even more that overlap with your interests and desires. I think if you work on the first level of any relationship, the next levels have a better chance. 

      Actually, in every story I've heard about great relationships, the people weren't looking for it, it just happened. You never hear someone say, "I really wanted a girlfriend, so I searched and searched and dated a ton of girls, and one of them was Sally and I decided she was the one for me." It's usually more like you spend time with lots of people, but eventually realize that when you have something exciting to share, one person stands out as the first one you call to talk to. A person like that normally starts out as a friend.